Unrecorded by Hansard*

A secret banquet, a table decorated with bachelor's buttons (lychius diorca), love lies bleeding (amaranthus caudatus), and love in a mist (nigerra danascena), served by celibate servants, attended by 38 bachelors, provided a unique scene in the House of Commons restaurant. There were to have been 39, but one (Commander Oliver Locker-Lampson) "succumbed" the evening previous and became betrothed. " Shame kept him absent."

Sir Robert Horne, ex-Chancellor of the Exchequer, was Chairman and he had a good deal to say on celibacy. First of all he proposed the toast of the Prince of Wales, "the best and most popular bachelor." Second, he toasted " perpetual celibacy." Third, he told some stories:

A bridegroom and his groomsman were at the altar awaiting the bride. The bridegroom became very white and seemed to be about to faint.

" What's wrang wi' ye, Jock ?" asked the groomsman. " Yer face is like chalk. Hae yet lost ony thing? Hae ye lost the ring? "

" No," was the reply. " But ah doot a've lost ma enthusiasm."

"Men are jist like teeth," said a Scotswoman, commenting on men in general. " They are ill to get. When ye get them they are a constant source of vexation, and when ye lose them, what a gap they leave!"

A husband was getting tired of his wife, and a mutual friend, discussing the lady and remembering that marriages are made in Heaven, declared:

" She may be God's workmanship, but she is not a masterpiece."

" In these days of rights of women," concluded Sir Robert Home, " we are told that the women no longer run after the men. The mouse-trap never runs after the mouse."

The only other member of the party known to be present was Lord Hugh Cecil (Lord Robert's brother), dubbed by Lady Astor " our leading medievalist" on account of his anti-feminist attitude. Said Lord Hugh:

" Bachelordom is in its essence Conservative. You are born a bachelor and die a bachelor. You stick to tradition. I cannot quite envisage a Liberal or a Laborite a bachelor. It is a contradiction in terms. Woman is the revolutionary; the bachelor is Conservative.

" We have young men among us who are not like the old men in the safe anchorage of bachelordom. They are beset by terrible dangers. They are not like me. I have climbed to the summit of the rock and am safe from the cruel, devastating foam of aggressive femininity.

" One of the greatest pleasures of the blessed is in contemplating the tortures of the damned! "

Once during the revelry a married Parliamentarian, no doubt attracted by the tinkling of glass, strode into the room. Instantly bedlam was let loose. " Bah! Blahhh ! Turn him out! Get out! " arose from the assembled celibates. The " hapless " benedict fled.

*Hansard--official report of proceedings in Parliament.