Janitress

"TIME brings all things"

A little grey-haired widow, Mrs. Bessie Ellinger, Janitress of three Manhattan tenements, heard loud cries in one of her hallways, rushed in to find a quivering taxi-driver being beaten by three bandits. Moved by the wretch's groans, she fell upon his attackers from behind. They fled to the empty cab but Bessie Ellinger leaped on the running board. Holding on with her arm through the window of the cab door while the knaves pounded her hand and twisted her fingers to make her let go, she drew a police whistle from her apron pocket and blew it until policemen stopped the careering vehicle, arrested the caitiff flim-flammers.

Egg

In an airplane flying from Paris to London were six ducks. While the plane sped at 100 miles an hour over the Straits of Dover, one duck laid an egg. Alighting at Croyden, the pilot had the egg boiled, ate it.

Eggs

In Cleveland the Hip Sing Tong, at a banquet to visiting delegates, served them slender shoots of bamboo with eggs which had been buried in mud for scores of years.

Eclair

In Paris one Albert Wolly, professional faster, entered a glass case where he proposed to go 26 days without food. Eleven days passed. In that period 40,000 people had filed by, tantalizing him by munching cake, sandwiches, pickles, drinking bottles of beer and champagne before his brooding eyes. On the afternoon of the twelfth day a young woman came in eating a chocolate eclair. She nibbled, smiled at him, finished the last crumb and licked her fingers when suddenly wild Wolly arose and, swinging his chair over his head, smashed the case. Gendarmes conducted him to a hospital.

Bananas

At Manchester, England, one "Smottox" Kerrigan, chauffeur, stood in the back yard of his boarding house, carroled loudly, "Yes, We Have No Bananas!" Cried his landlady, a Mrs. Ritter; "Ain't you never going to shut up on that tune, Smottox?" An instant later, as the "Smottox" carroled on, she heaved "a red hot frying pan" out the window "just to scare him."

The pan, grazing the singer's ear, burned him severely. Outraged, he quitted Landlady Hitter's establishment, after a stay of 18 years.