Cows, Horses, Goats

Representative James A. Gallivan of Massachusetts is Irish, Democratic and Wet. In his youth he was a hard-hitting baseball player for Harvard. But more important than that, he is the most popular funnyman in the House. Well do Congressmen remember when he strolled up the aisle to deliver his annual "message" (TIME, Dec. 20).

Being a man of impulses,* he recently began to look into certain publications of the Department of Agriculture. He found that a recipe prescribing whiskey, milk and eggs for cows' and horses' ailments, which was advised by the Department of Agriculture for 33 years, has been omitted since 1923.

"This attempt to censor the morals of our cows and horses," announced Mr. Gallivan last week, "is surely the ultimate in Prohibition enforcement."

Whimsically, he suggested an investigation by Congress. Whereupon, Secretary of Agriculture Jardine, hitherto unknown as a humorist, replied: "So far as I know the horses and the cows as well as the mules are surviving the ordeal, some of them even kicking up their heels and showing a great deal of spirit. As for the goats--I still have mine."

*A friend once asked him: "Jim, is this right since that primary you have been on the wagaon since primary day?"

"Absolutely," replied Mr. Gallivan, "but you know I am a, man of impulses."