"Holy Joe"

So long had the self-conscious Rev. Basil W. B. Matthews, Vicar of Holy Trinity Church, London, endured the scrutiny of his congregation, that last week he broke into psalmodic lament:

"Be he grave or serious in his demeanor: seeking to uphold the dignity of his cloth,

"He is said to be standoffish, 'pi' and uppish: yea, the ungodly call him 'Holy Joe.'

"So then he trieth to be gay, greeting all and sundry with a merry jest; but this, too, displeaseth some.

"With young men and maidens, too, the parson hath his problems: for if from them he hold aloof, they mislike him much.

"So that when to him they should turn as to a friend in need, with them he cutteth no ice.

"Again, if beholding overmuch intemperance in his flock, he exhorteth all men to abstain from strong drink,

"He is said to be a killjoy, and inhuman; a very Stiggins whose mind is straitened.

"But if he entereth a tavern, and putteth his foot upon the rail of brass; there be those who say, 'Behold a wine-bibber.'

"So when he bloweth froth he committeth iniquity; and when he bloweth it not he is likewise a sinner.

"Let the servant therefore walk in the steps of his Master; and care nought for the opinion of man."