Football Matches

Tucked away somewhere in the clicking castle that serves as Western Union Telegraph headquarters is a complete telegram writer. He concocts gay concentrates for gay occasions; soft soul messages for Yuletide & birthdays. Last week he rolled lip his sleeves and disclosed thick hairy arms. Savagely he scribbled messages in blood--messages to be wired to college football elevens on game days. These messages are catalogued as "Suggested 'Pep' Messages" and "Cheer by Western Union." Specimens:

Good luck. We know you boys will show them.

Go ahead and win. We have a victory song ready.

Can't you hear us cheering. The crowd is with you.

From first whistle can see you smashing line to victory.

Fight with everything you have boys, and bring back victory.

A cynic, vexed, suggested messages that might be wired to the opposition:

Who do you think you are to beat Ohio State, you old Tiger?

Your parents have eloped.

Hope you lose.

If you or any member of your rotten team crosses Penn's goal line this afternoon your house will be bombed tonight.

Bad luck and tough breaks to you and team stop when running with ball stop.

Eleven Harvard men animated, possibly, by scores of these electric messages surged on to Franklin Field to resume football with Pennsylvania after 22 years. But no one had telegraphed Harvard how to diagnose Penn's hidden ball tricks. Penn bewildered Harvard 24-0.

Ohio State was a second sample of the inefficacy of pre-kick-off stimulants, telegraphic or otherwise. Ohio State further complicated the controversy over the relative merits of eastern and mid-western football by losing lavishly to Princeton, 0-20. Princeton plays about the best football in the East this season, having thus far destroyed every opponent. Ohio State, beaten twice in the West, is still one of the abler elevens. Disgruntled midlanders wished Notre Dame had gone to Princeton.

Notre Dame faced complications in the form of Minnesota and a snow storm. Both teams entered the field unbeaten; left the field unbeaten. Notre Dame scored early against Minnesota's substitutes, smashed into a 7-7 tie when famed Joesting, Minnesota back, passed the ball across the goal line in the final quarter for a touchdown.

Southern disputes were also tangled when Georgia Tech (unbeaten in the South) and Vanderbilt (stopped only by Texas) were unable to score any points at all. Georgia, one of the few remaining major elevens as yet unbeaten and untied, suppressed Florida 28-0.

Another contest supposed to narrow the U. S. championship possibilities was indecisive. Pittsburgh and Washington and Jefferson preserved unblemished season's records; proved nothing-nothing.

Stanford tore Washington State apart 13-7; California tanned Montana 33-13; and St. Mary's (who beat Stanford) was held to a 3 point tie by Idaho, in San Francisco.

Yale roughly erased last year's defeat by Maryland and scribbled in 30-6. Half back Snyder, Maryland, made one of the longest runs recorded in the Yale Bowl; 85 yards from kick-off to score his team's meagre points.

Army and Navy again rested gratefully on cushions in their schedules; Army 45, Franklin and Marshall, 0; Navy 26, West Virginia Wesleyan 0.

Illinois retained a stainless record in the Western Conference scoring two touchdowns, 14 points, against Iowa's none. Michigan managed Chicago with the same score. In an intersectional game which recaptured some of the prestige lost by Ohio State at Princeton, Missouri won from West Virginia 13-0.

New York University outsloshed Carnegie Tech through a chill drizzle 20-6, and is still unbeaten. Half back Briante smashed closer to Harold ("Red") Grange's phenomenal record of yards gained by rushing, passing the 1,000 mark on the first scrimmage; later dashed 50 yds. Grange's record is 1,260 yds.