Funeral

In Luray, Va., just before Christmas, a tree dropped a large branch on the head of one Fannie Broyles. Fannie Broyles fell down and lay very still. Her relatives found her, took her home, enclosed her body in a casket, took the casket to church, stood near it, sang funeral hymns. Before these had been finished, Fannie Broyles opened her eyes for one brief second. Soon she opened them again, waggled her hand and got out of her coffin. Afraid of being buried while alive, she had completely recovered from the blow that had stunned her.

Cow

In Crompton, England, a large stupid cow waddled into a candy shop. The man of the shop beat the cow, tugged its horns, pushed its hindquarters, fed the cow candy. At this the cow waddled into the narrow doorway and got stuck. The man of the shop poured whiskey into the cow's mouth. Then the cow mooed, wriggled out of the doorway and walked away.

Rooster

In Stamford, Conn., a large, stupid rooster saw a pile of fermented mash on the side of the road. After pecking and swallowing a large quantity of this mash the rooster fell over in the gutter, drunk. A motorist, thinking him dead, picked up the rooster and carried him home. Inside the house, the rooster's owner looked at the bird with disgust. "He's always getting like that," she said. The rooster winked one red eye, croaked, fell fast asleep.