Red Scots

Pennies pinched by Scotch employers since the War have turned many a braw Sandy and honest Wully to Communism. Scotland's shipyards on the Clyde and Scotland's dreary coal mines are the new cradle of British Reds. Last week the British Coal Miners' Federation Conference met at Llandudno, Wales, and was bearded by five Scotch Reds, executives of the Scotch Communist Miners' Union, which was recently expelled from the parent Federation. "Tyrant!" bawled the Scots at Federation President Herbert Smith, 65, "we demand a hearing!"

Steadfastly ignored at first by President Smith, the malcontents ascended to a gallery, where they stamped, catcalled and finally picked a fist fight which made proceedings impossible. Roused, "Old Herbie" Smith dashed from platform to gallery, shouting, "I'm 65, but [to one of the Reds] I'll throw you out, Bill Allen!"

While onlookers throated hoarse glee, "Old Herbie" did throw "Bill" out.

Surveying triumphantly the Parliamentary order thus restored, President Smith was about to descend from the balcony when a Welsh Communist, Arthur Horner, onetime amateur lightweight boxing champion of South Wales, rushed up the aisle belligerently shouting, "I'm in on this fight!"

"You're out, Art Horner!" roared the President, then leaped down six balcony steps, stunned Communist Horner with the impact of heavy boots, did not quite kill him, restored complete order.

Observers marked as significant that famed A. J. "Emperor" Cook, firebrand Secretary of the Miners' Federation, and perhaps one of the chief provokers of the British General Strike (TIME, May 17, 1926), is now so chastened by the failure of his 100% Red projects that last week he assisted President Smith with the ejections.