Hindenburg Arches

For several weeks past President Paul von Hindenburg has been a martyr to rheumatic swelling in his knees. Doctors and masseurs bandaged and rubbed, but without success. Willy Sachs, famed Berlin mesmerist, was summoned at a cost of $25 per visit. After Willy Sachs had glared 15 times ($375) at the presidential joints without bringing relief, President von Hindenburg lost hope.

Came last week an elderly Berlin shoemaker commissioned to construct a new pair of presidential shoes. Gazing professionally at the gnarled von Hindenburg feet, the old tradesman decided to equip the new von Hindenburg shoes with solid arch-supporters. President von Hindenburg tried on the new shoes, walked across the room, walked around the garden. His knee pains ceased at once. In a few days his swellings had disappeared. Later an official communique was issued that President von Hindenburg's convalescence was at an end. How the merciful cobbler was rewarded, officialdom neglected to say.