Stutterer

In Kovno, Lithuania, a gentleman disappeared. The local soviet announced a reward "for the finding of the corpse of Judge Dmitri Petrovitch, believed to have been drowned in the Neva. Height, six feet; hair, black; eyes, brown; special identification: he stutters."

Watcher

In Trenton, N. J., Mrs. Elsie Hudak sued for divorce, said: "My husband set me to watch a mouse hole in our home. . . . I let the mouse get away and he beat me severely with a broom handle."

Chewer

In Lebanon, Ill., one Bertram Smith, college student, chewed 45 sticks of gum, broke the world's chewing gum record, got diabetes from excess of sugar.

Liar

In Collinsville, Ill., a contest was held on "Homecoming Day" to find the biggest liar in Southern Illinois. A $20 gold piece was awarded one Ernestine Smith, editress of the Columbia (Illinois) Star. The lie: her auto fell into a mudhole, sank in three weeks to Singapore, China.

Reader

In Denver, one Albert T. Frohn sat on his front porch, read a book. Out of nowhere dashed a runaway automobile, scooted across the lawn, hurtled onto the porch, pinned Mr. Frohn to the wall. Injuries: leg fracture, loss of half an ear.

Peeker

Near Poughkeepsie, Oscar Widmer, 50, weatherman, spent many evenings wandering, with club and dog, along deserted roads, peeking at couples in parked automobiles. Recently he was hailed to court, charged with opening the door of an automobile belonging to one Thomas Wright, pulling the leg of Mr. Wright's lady companion, "twitting" Mr. Wright, whose companion was Mrs. Wright. Weatherman Widmer's sentence: 30 days.

Peerer

In Springfield, N. J., an automobile proceeded down the road in a manner that interested a motorcycle patrolman. Drawing alongside, he found Driver Frank Urban, his hands off the wheel, peering into a compass in his lap.

Fingers

In Lynn, Mass., one Francis Joseph Whitehead was born with two ring-fingers on each hand.

Victim

In San Rafael, Cal., Deputy Sheriffs Tracey and McGinnis spied a pair of lifeless legs dangling from the tonneau of a speeding car. They drew guns, pursued; overtook it. McGinnis covered the driver, Tracey flashed his badge.

"Who's the victim?" snarled Tracey. "That ain't a victim, that's a tailor's dummy," said the startled driver.

Twin

In Los Angeles, Lucio Godino, Siamese twin, was arrested for traffic violations. Judge William M. Northrup suspended sentence because the innocent brother, Simplicio, pleaded that he should not be jailed or fined for Lucio's offense.

Key

In Brooklyn, one Harry Pardee, printer, came home late, misplaced his key. Fearing to arouse his wife, he climbed to the elevated railroad station adjacent to his house, took off his coat, jumped for the roof. He missed, fell 40 feet to the pavement. Later the key, wedged in a matchbox, was found in his pocket.

Dog

In Atlantic City, Patrolman Clifton Mann fired three shots at an injured dog. The first hit the right leg of one Clarence Beckett, railroad watchman. The second hit the dog, failed to kill it. The third hit the right leg of one Paul Robbins, coal and ice merchant. A motorcycle policeman arrived, shot the dog.

Sport

In Burlingame, Cal., Sport, police dog, having once been bumped by an automobile, found that by barking a sound like the local traffic signal, automobilists would stop and he could cross the street leisurely.

Omen

In Provincetown, Mass., the Mary A., schooner, sailed away on a fishing trip. Soon she hove back in sight, drifted near her dock while a sailor heaved a black cat over the side. Then, rid of the omen, she sailed away again.

Birdie

In Indianapolis, one M. J. Abbott, golfing, tried for a birdie. When the ball landed on the fairway, a crow swooped down, snatched the ball in its beak, flew away. "It's a birdie," said Golfer Abbott's merry companions.

Fire

In Rockville Center, L. I., a fire-alarm clanged, roused the Live Oak Volunteer Engine Co., which sped in search of the fire. After dashing vainly about the town, they learned that their fire house was alight, had almost burned down.

Swish-Swish

In Dolores Cemetery, Tacubaya, Mexico, a white ghost made off with a tombstone, was surprised by a grave watchman.

"Boo, whoo-oo-oo, woof, woof," moaned the ghost.

"Bang!" went the watchman's gun. The tombstone fell to the ground and a sheet dropped off the shoulders of one Salvador Espinosa.

"I didn't think he'd shoot a ghost," said Spook Espinosa, pained.

"Correcto," said the watchman, "but the ghosts in Dolores go 'swish-swish,' never 'woof-woof,' therefore I shoot."