Galoshes

In Cambridge, Mass., Everett I. Hume became enraged when his wife wore her galoshes to bed.

Sausage

In Manhattan, one "Dr." David Wesson exhibited something made out of water, vegetable fats, and pulverized cotton seeds which he claimed to have invented and called a "sausage." Said he:

"The title of 'Doctor' is honorary. When I went to Savannah, Ga., in 1904, the natives couldn't call me Colonel because I wasn't an army man; they couldn't call me judge because I wasn't a lawyer so they compromised on Doctor. I'm a chem ist by profession and an inventor by inclination.''

New Year Card

In Manhattan Ong You, 60, leader of the Hip Sing Tong, was hauled into court, charged with issuing tickets for a policy game. The court interpreter was asked to read one of these. Read he: "The dragon will walk the eternal paths of glory and the lion shall be exercised. Would that our ancestors bring on us only fair skies with shining suns." Ong You, purveyor of Chinese New Year's cards, was discharged.

Disturbance

In Manhattan one John Benjamin, 60, was disturbed by the sound of a children's party in the flat of one Mrs. Stella Argos. just above his own. Rushing upstairs, he asked Mrs. Argos to quiet the youngsters. When she seemed unconcerned, John Benjamin drew a knife, stabbed her twice in the head.

Saw

In Richmond, Va., Blackamoor Winnie Jones was cooking dinner in her kitchen.

Down the block, Blackamoor James Brice was sawing wood with a buzzsaw. The flywheel of James Brice's buzz-saw flew off, sailed over a church, crashed through the roof of a house, decapitated Winnie Jones.

In Berkeley, Calif., one Henry Clifford Stuart grew tired of his name, changed it to Stuart X.

Big Bogues

In Lamoille County, Vt., were discovered Hiram Bogue and his seven sons. The smallest Bogue was six and a half feet tall, the biggest Bogue was Max Bogue, seven feet, two inches.

Machine

In Paris, boulevardiers dropped coins into a new machine which rewarded them with jazz tunes and Martini, Bronx or Sidecar cocktails.

Snake v. Ruth

Near St. Petersburg, Fla., a rattlesnake spied baseballer George Herman ("Babe'') Ruth hunting quail, sneaked after him. bit a hunting dog in the leg, sneaked away without biting "Babe" Ruth. While his friend administered serum to the dog. "Babe" Ruth, incensed, set out after the snake with a large gun.

Snake

In Broussa, Turkey, Constantia Shemseddine declared that a snake which had crawled down her throat four years ago was still sticking its head out of her mouth once a day to breathe. Annoyed, Constantia Shemseddine made plans to have the snake removed.

Bathtub

In Manhattan, policemen arrested dirty Joseph Stransky.* Having stolen a bathtub from a deserted house, he was dragging it back to his home.

Quilt

In White Hall, Ill., afraid to put her money in a bank, Mary Booth, 70, made a crazy quilt out of $2,000 worth of bills, tried to exchange it for that amount in Washington.

Commuters

On a train moving from Manhattan toward Philadelphia some two hundred members of the Seven o'Clockers' Klub convened for their third annual banquet. The Klub is composed of Philadelphians who spend four hours every day commuting to and from work in Manhattan. Feature of the banquet was a new Klub song:

Rickety, rickety, rickety, rock, We leave Philly at seven o'clock, Leave New York smack at five; Ride the Reading, be alive--Rah, rah, rah, Seven o'Clockers, rah, rah!

*Not to be confused with Josef Stransky one-time conductor of the New York Philharmonic orchestra.

This file is automatically generated by a robot program, so reader's discretion is required.