Monday, Mar. 10, 1930

Sneezer's Chance

In Manhattan, last week, the officers of the United Hayfever Club met, decided to incorporate. Said Joseph D. Gastwirth, treasurer:

"Decided to move . . . been going to Bethlehem, N. H. . . . only place in the East . . . get away from sneezing. . . . White Mountains . . . build our own hotel . . . keep out everybody but members . . . applications come in a dozen a day. . . .

"Dues $25 a year . . . raise the dues and have our own club house . . . want golf links that other people can't use . . . tennis courts . . . doctors . . . nobody can get in except . . . have hayfever. . . .

"Idea of this corporation is ... give the sneezer a chance . . . won't admit members except in August . . . look at them and tell ... if they have hayfever. If they haven't . . . can't get in. . . ."

Doom

In New Carlisle, Ohio, citizens continued to be appalled by a hearse lettered DOOM BROS., UNDERTAKERS.

Method

In Chicago, Catherine Torpey received a beating for her failure to fry eggs on ice, a cheap method which her husband had seen practiced by a magician.

Thief

In Marquette, Mich., one John D. Rockefeller was sentenced to from 7-7 to 20 years in prison for armed robbery.

Rivals

In Knoxville, Tenn., George L. Burnett ran for Road Commissioner against George L. Burnett. To aid puzzled voters, one registered as G. L. ("Fayte") Burnett.

Eagle

In Great Falls, Mont., Art Leweke got rid of a hungry golden eagle by tying to its tail a toy balloon, a brass bell.

Wine

In Oakland, Neb., Leon Jarvis, Nelson Jarvis, Hollis Cleveland, Lawrence Kohlmeier and Reuben Roberg died after drinking large quantities of anti-freeze solution under the impression that it was wine.

Inquest

In Anderson, S. C., Coroner J. M. Clark was asked to hold an inquest to determine what had caused the sudden demise of a blackamoor found dead after a dinner of nine cans of sardines, a bottle of buttermilk, two boxes of crackers and a plate of spareribs.

Tony

In Chicago, Tony Stepka, 47, administered a good drubbing to his mother, Anna Stepka, 84, who supports him by scrubbing floors. He then chased her down the street, roaring for more money with which to buy "red-eye."

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