Rumpus

In Little Rock, Ark., in a hotel H. G. Lansdale of Atlanta, Ark. telephoned the desk clerk, complained that W. U. McCabe. Arkansas State Legislator, was carousing most annoyingly in an adjacent room. Said H. G. Lansdale: "If you don't stop that rumpus I will." Forthwith he stomped into the room, shot and critically wounded Legislator McCabe.

Boy

In Los Angeles, Calif., Mrs. Anna C. Johnstone revealed that her late mother had forced her for years to masquerade as a boy in order to get a trust fund created in England by her uncle.

Squaw

In Reno, Nev., Mrs. Pearl Marconi, Indian squaw, spent a night in tippling, presented her papoose to a friendly Negress, went to city jail, demanded a bed to sleep in.

Disturbance

In Winter Garden, Fla., George Brown, onetime chief of police, and Terrill Hobbs, onetime night marshal (both lost in last October's elections) were found shot dead in the streets. Nearby were Chief of Police G. S. Brazell, slightly wounded, and Night Marshal J. W. Burkes, unhurt. Said Chief Brazell: he and Marshal Burkes had gone out to investigate a disturbance caused by onetime Chief Brown and onetime Marshal Hobbs. Coroner's verdict: death at the hands of persons unknown; no eyewitnesses.

Lament

Sumner R. Kilmarx, an interior decorator, was one of a jury which had been sitting for three weeks hearing dull testimony in a Manhattan corporation case. One morning he came to court carrying typewritten sheets, which he distributed to his confreres, to all the lawyers, and the judge. On the sheets was an original composition--a poem by Sumner R. Kilmarx entitled ''The Jurors' Lament." Excerpt: The Justice nods, the jurors yawn, The hours tick away. But still the lawyers argue, And the case drags on its way. We came here in the prime of life, The cause of right to seek. But age is creeping on us As we ponder week by week.

Wow

In Chicago, Henry Magis was arrested for barking like a dog, thereby disturbing the peace. * He explained: "I was barking and howling to frighten away my daughter's boyfriends." But Mrs. Magis said: "Whenever Henry Magis gets drunk he thinks he's a dog. Anyway, he's a wow!"

Teeth

At White Plains, N. Y., Mrs. Mary A. Hudson left some platinum-based false teeth, one set more than 60 years old, "to the dental colleges in the hope that they may prove an incentive to dentists to equal or possibly excel the work of Dr. John Allen."

Bullets

In Atlanta, Ga., Negro Jeff Davis was shot in the stomach, complained of the pain. Physicians decided to operate. Before they found the bullet they were seeking, they found four other, old ones.

Bootjacks

In Kansas City, Mo., the National Bootjack Association held an exhibition. Best bootjack was that of Woodrow Weaver, 16. It was auctioned off for $100 (for the Red Cross), sent off to General John Joseph ("Blackjack") Pershing. Governor Harry Woodring of Kansas exhibited a bootjack which was sold for $6.

Burnside

Near Balboa, Canal Zone, Chief Electrician Leslie W. Burnside of the motor ship Courageous jumped overboard to commit suicide, changed his mind, swam about for twelve hours before the S. S. Sabotawan picked him up.

Meyers

In Kenosha, Wis., Floyd J. Meyers, 24, unemployed for 18 months, went to bed with his brother Milton. Both fell to sleep. Soon, Milton Meyers was awakened by a shot, found Floyd Meyers dead beside him with gun in hand. Coroner's opinion: that Floyd Meyers killed himself in his sleep.

Eggs

In Phoenixville. Pa., the American Legion Post held a cinema show for children. Admission: two eggs. Twelve hundred were taken in. boiled, colored, then hidden in a field, to be hunted for next morning. All but two eggs were stolen during the night by one Andrew Kankarik and his neighbors.

In Mattoon. Ill., a theatre manager announced a performance for children. Admission: an egg apiece, to be given to charity. The theatre held 1,132, but 2,000 children came. Infuriated latecomers threw eggs at the manager, at passersby, at policemen. The manager put on a second, free show.

Dog

In Hartford City. Ind.. a constable found a fox terrier reeling and lurching along the street. He followed it to the home of one Paul Garwood. whom he arrested for liquor law violation. Paul Garwood's fox terrier ate mash, was an habitual toper.

* An able dog-barker once was bulky Author Carl Van Vechten. so able and so strident that he is said to have had his barks recorded for posterity.

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