Storage

In England's New Statesman & Nation, Scientist Louis Herrman revived and elaborated Author Herbert George Wells's plan for carrying jobless workmen through periods of depression by mildly refrigerating them, hibernating them until society again needs them. The method: Cool the body to about 75DEG F. Then it would shiver, warm & wake itself up, according to Scientist Herrman. Insulin would inhibit the shivering but cause convulsions. Cooling to 70DEG would stop the convulsions. Corollaries of the plan: "Hibernation might be prescribed as a perfect cure for a nervous breakdown or any form of neurasthenia. Social historians in their prime might be preserved for a couple of generations to describe to their descendants at first hand the manners of a bygone period. Politicians out of office might sleep until their party came once more into power."

Dumbell

In London, F. Dumbell Elliott announced he would retire as Scotland Yard's traffic chief after 29 years of brilliant, efficient service.

Water

Near Wenatchee, Wash., Walter Griffith's truck, loaded with watermelons, skidded from the road, burst into flames. Quick-witted Walter Griffith grabbed his watermelons, threw them against the truck with might & main. The 23rd watermelon put out the fire.

Actress

In Westmont, N. J., Miss Grace Bowen. 25, New York actress, sat in the illegally parked automobile of her sister Mrs. Worthington Pfeiffer. Along came a policeman and handed Miss Bowen a summons. Miss Bowen tore up the summons, threw the pieces in the policeman's face, then slapped it. Over the head of a second policeman she broke a picture frame. The constable she bit. Her fine: $10.

Passerby

Near Pomona, Calif., Carl J. Baker's truck overturned, he was pinned beneath it. Inquired a passerby: "Can't you get out?" "No," said Carl J. Baker, "my back is sprained." The passerby leaned down, removed $95 from Carl J. Baker's pockets, put it in his own, passed on.

Sloppy

In the Norfolk, Va. Ledger-Dispatch appeared the following advertisement:

BARTENDER--Experienced old-time bartender wanted for new saloon: must have pleasing personality and be six feet tall, weigh two hundred pounds. Apply after 2 p.m., Sloppy Joe's Saloon, 121 Granby street.

Smilesky

In New Canaan, Conn., Paul Smilesky smilingly told his 6-year-old son he could not ride a tricycle without license plates. Not long afterward Paul Smilesky was arrested for driving his car without license plates. Paul Smilesky rushed home, found the plates on his son's tricycle.

Swiderski

In Monroe, Mich., Vincent Swiderski lost his parrot. Six years later he thought he saw his parrot on Mrs. Chermock's porch. Mrs. Chermock denied it was his. In court the parrot took the witness stand called by name the three children of Vincent Swiderski: Gladys, Leo, Joe. The Swiderskis got the parrot.

Corner

In Pueblo, Col., Gerald Hines told his wife to meet him on a street corner. Gerald Hines went to a corner and waited. His wife did not come. Gerald Hines got madder & madder, so mad that he smashed his fist through a store window. Gerald Hines was taken to a hospital. His wife continued to wait at another corner, the one he had said.

Moneybag

In Mexico City, neighbors of Leonardo Uribe were impressed when every night he carried home a bulging moneybag of 1,000-peso capacity. One night thieves halted Leonardo Uribe, seized his moneybag, opened it, found inside two old boots. The thieves fell upon Leonardo Uribe, beat him to death.

Tow

In Ventura, Calif, arrived an automobilist & family, asked H. A. Johnson, local Red Cross official, for gasoline money. Inquisitive Red Grossman Johnson lifted the engine hood of the automobile, found beneath it no motor. The automobilist explained that he had been towed all the way from New Hampshire. His method: in each town he would stop a motorist, tell him his car was broken down, ask for a tow to the next town where a relative would pay for repairs. Mr. Johnson withheld Red Cross aid. The motorless automobilist immediately got a tow to Santa Barbara.

Shrewd

In New York, Isidore Pasternack, 20, student of the College of the City of New York, and his good friend Samuel W. Greenstein, 19, both Communists, thought of a shrewd way to make money. They bought 350 novelties from Amtorg Trading Corp., sent them to relatives of persons recently dead, sent with them C. O. D. bills for $5. Many relatives, thinking they had been ordered by the persons who had died, paid. Others did not, had Messrs. Pasternack & Greenstein arrested instead. Their sentence: three months, to be suspended as long as they attend no Communist meetings, wave no red flags.

Yard

In a house in Elizabeth, N. J., lived Mrs. Tessie Penal and her nine children, Mrs. Fanny Evans and her six children. All 15 children played, squabbled, fought in one yard. One day Mrs. Evans had Mrs. Penal arrested. She told a judge Mrs. Penal had attacked her with a stick in a dispute over rights to the yard. The judge ordered them both to move.

This file is automatically generated by a robot program, so reader's discretion is required.