Brolly

John Guthrie Sutherland, 62, of Knowle, Warwickshire manufactures gas meters and stands for no nonsense. He had a chance last week to sell his meters to the municipality of Brighton, famed seaside resort. John Guthrie Sutherland packed his brief case, put on his hat and went down to see about it. He also took his "brolly" (umbrella), an object without which no Briton ever feels comfortable.

At Knowle station he learned to his horror that he had been misinformed about the Birmingham-Brighton Express. It did not stop at Knowle. John Guthrie Sutherland stomped out to the middle of the track, raised his brolly and began to wave it.

Stubborn as King Canute, defiant as Joshua, brave as Horatius he stood there a true son of the-British bulldog. The Brighton Express roared down at him 50 m.p.h., came to a halt with great screaming of brakes. Out tumbled the engineer, pale beneath the grease on his face.

"My Gawd!'' he cried. 'T thought 'e was under the wheels!"

John Guthrie Sutherland submitted to arrest, climbed into a third-class carriage, went to Brighton, got his contract. In police court he was fined -L-12 ($41.50 current exchange) for needlessly nagging a train.

"All right, all right." said John Guthrie Sutherland. "I'd do it again. That contract was worth -L-10,000."

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