Lame Duck's Will

"Poems, especially great poems, are frequently written in great emotion for special occasions. This poem was written in great emotion."

So began Representative Ruth Bryan Owen, Florida "lame duck," daughter of the late great William Jennings Bryan, last week at a luncheon given by the Women's National Press Club to the women members of Congress. Clearing her throat, svelte Mrs. Owen read in a husky voice her "Last Will and Testament of a Lame Duck":

"To members in the coming session.
We leave what's left of the depression,
With fifty thousand tomes appended,
Telling just how it can be ended.
To Congressmen who'll draw our salary,
We leave all gunmen in the gallery,
All Communists who march and fight
And threaten us with dynamite.
Those stalwart ones may have the onus
Of laying hands upon the bonus.
The currency--to them we hand it,
To shrink, contract it, or expand it.
We'll let them exercise their talents
On making that thar' budget balance.
And, pointing out, with no delaying,
A tax the public won't mind paying.
To make this simple as can be,
We leave to them technocracy.
To them we're leaving the analysis
Of beer producing no paralysis.
To them we leave, with stifled sobs,
All persons who are seeking jobs.
Our pangs of exile 'twill assuage
To know we have no patronage. . . ."

When Mrs. Owen demurred at having her verse printed in the Congressional Record, grey-haired Representative Florence Kahn of California overrode her thus: "Oh, give the boys a good time before you go. They'll wish they'd been smart enough to think of it."

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