Kalles, Chassanim

"Ach," growled a stubble-bearded Manhattan rabbi one day last week, "for the shadchen, business is shlecht--terrible, terrible!"

Once all Jewish marriages were arranged by parents. Actual negotiations, including the all-important dowry provided by the bride's family, were handled by shadchonim--marriage brokers. Today only old-fashioned Orthodox Jews patronize the shadchen. Simplified by the emancipation of Jewish youth, his job consists in bringing together couples in a marrying mood, taking a commission (usually 5%) on the dowry.

Last week in Brooklyn met the Marriage Brokers' Association of the U.S. To its members the Association's secretary, Rabbi Nathan Wolf, reported that business is indeed shlecht, with kalles (would-be brides) outnumbering chassanim (would-be grooms) ten to one. Next day Rabbi Wolf received newshawks in the midtown Manhattan Synagog where, at an annual cost of $500 to New York City, he is the only registered voter. Wearing a black skullcap, he tabulated chassanim according to their worth as husbands. Most in demand are doctors, who may command a dowry of $12,000. Rabbis get from $7,000 to $10,000, businessmen $5,000 or $6,000. Dentists are not in demand and, said the Rabbi, "a lawyer no one wants. People are afraid of lawyers, I don't know why."

No shadchen himself, Rabbi Wolf explained why a marriage broker is useful: ''When you meet a girl on the street or in the subway, all you see is the veneer, the varnish. Now the marriage broker investigates. He looks up the money part of the woman and investigates the man's past, his relations and his standing. The proper way to size up a person is to see if he has business with a bank. If he doesn't deal with a bank, he's no good."

Of the qualifications for a good match Rabbi Wolf, who annually lectures shadchonim on the ethics of their business, declared beauty comes first. "When you go into a grocery store you demand the best, you demand that it be hot and with cream. Well, when you take a girl your sister asks, 'What have you brought home, a nice young lady?' "

Most Jewish men today wait until they have passed 35 and feel secure before marrying, said Rabbi Wolf. Conversely, girls as young as 15 seek husbands. Likewise, older kalles knock at least a dozen years off their age. "If a lady has real love affairs," observed the rabbi, "she never has to go to a marriage broker."

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