"Fine Flame"

Centuries of parliamentary tradition have left His Majesty's realm with almost no political plug-uglies, millions of loyal subjects overwhelmingly convinced that violence has no place in politics. Last week svelte, high-waisted Sir Oswald Ernald Mosley, rich Fascist, decided to reform his Black Shirt movement into two sections. Members of the first or so-called "elite section" must be firm believers in violence as an instrument of party policy.

Elite British Black Shirts, Sir Oswald said, will be "something resembling the Schutzstaffel," Adolf Hitler's elite Special Guards. "They alone will be entitled to wear the black shirt," he continued. "It is they who dedicate themselves to preserving, the pure, immutable, fine flame of our original movement. They alone may wear badges denoting their degree of dedication."

Black Shirt henchmen said that the precise degree of dedication is calculated from the number of meetings a Mosleyite has attended, his degree of proficiency in Fascist drill and the amount of his success in selling by door-to-door canvassing methods Sir Oswald's party organ, The Black Shirt.

Elite troopers are to be grouped in squads of five, each with a squad leader (as in Germany), and a quota of 30 new members which, when recruited, will comprise an entire squad. Squadsters will be dropped if they attend less than two Mosleyite meetings per week. Those who attend five or more a week may wear, while they keep up that average, the medal denoting "Highest Zeal."

Britons who have "only political minds" or are "lacking the dedicated Black Shirt spirit," Sir Oswald announced, can belong to the great second rank of his party. "This organization," said Sir Oswald, "will be to create propaganda machinery and assist in electioneering. It will work parallel with the dedicated Black Shirts who will use it for Fascism."

Elite Black Shirts, added Leader Mosley, will be used as "ushers" (i.e. bouncers and strong-arm men) at Mosley mass meetings. Until recently the average dedicated Black Shirt carried a rubber blackjack known as a "Mosley truncheon," but this, Sir Oswald insists, has been put aside. "They were only used," he announced dramatically, "after our men had been slashed for weeks by the Communists with razors!"

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