Monday, Mar. 18, 1935

"TIME brings all things"

Mother

In Manhattan, Mrs. Frances Bell, 76, telephoned the police that her son Thomas, truckdriver. widower and father of one, had put her out in a snowstorm.

In Night Court Son Thomas said that three other of Mrs. Bell's 15 children were living, that "my mother can't mind her own business and I'd like to have my home to myself. When my wife died, she came up to the funeral and she wouldn't go away. Anyway, when I put her out I tried to give her carfare to my sister's and it wasn't snowing."

The magistrate said: "I feel like crying. I'm going to issue subpoenas for the other three children and four grandchildren. We'll make sure this old lady has a home she can he certain of."

Two of the sons dodged the subpoenas. A daughter on relief said she would help. Mother Bell said she preferred to live with her favorite, Thomas. Finally Son Thomas grudgingly took her back.

Wife

In Sweetwater, Tex., the wife of Locomotive Engineer C. R. Hawkins wrecked the family car by driving it into her husband's locomotive.

Friend

In Manhattan, when blind Dominick Caputo. 25. missed his best suit of clothes, he asked his pauper roommate and best friend. Pasquale Mascia, 28, to lead him to the police station. Police got him to describe the clothes, informed him that Roommate Mascia was wearing them.

Lecture

In Urbana, Ill., scheduled to lecture the Exchange Club on Mark Twain, University of Illinois English Professor H. G. Paul stood up, faced the Club, looked, then stared at his notes, collected himself, delivered a splendid lecture on Abraham Lincoln.

Snap-On

In Kenosha, Wis., dissatisfied with his $35 weekly salary as purchasing agent for the Snap-On Tool Co.. Andrew B. Kotlarek, 34, eked it out for three years with purchasing agent checks to John K. Leander of the Economy Press. Universal Sales & Supply Co. and Leander Sales Co., Frank Kotten of the General Abrasive Products Co., Carl Hellen of the United Screw Products Co., all of which were really Andrew B. Kotlarek. Last week he was caught.

Truck

In Eldon, Mo., Charles Caldwell started the engine of his dump truck while it was in the basement garage of his house. He had forgotten to take the hoisting apparatus out of gear. The rising hopper lifted the house six inches off its foundations before Mrs. Caldwell stopped him.

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