External Election

Crack-pated Manhattan Communists call the perspiring Irish police who crack their pates in Union Square "The Cossacks!" Last week the world's true Cossacks, crack cavalrymen of Tsar Nicholas II who are now mostly taxicab drivers, doormen, janitors and such, conducted by mail the first election for their supreme Cossack chief or Ataman ever held outside Russia.

''New York has been a Cossack village officially since 1931," said its taxi-driving local Ataman, Cossack Colonel Peter Fedorovitch Abramov, who somehow manages to send his daughter to Hunter College, his son to City College. "It is very silly for the Press to mention me, as I am not a world leader. Our last was Ataman Bogayevsky who died in Paris last October, necessitating this election. The unit of Cossack life for 400 years has been the 'village' and it was Ataman Bogayevsky who made New York a Cossack village.

"Our great dream, the dream of all Cossacks, is destruction of Communism. It is as foreign to us as poverty is to Americans and we shall get rid of it just as you will."

Dispatches from Paris, with ballots arriving from Africa, Australia and such remote South American outposts as the battle-scarred Gran Chaco, reported Cossack Count Michael Grabbe leading in the world election for Ataman. Trailing was the only U. S. candidate, General Peter Kharitonovitch Popov, now chef in a Boston restaurant. Said Manhattan Ataman Abramov: "Even when we drive taxicabs instead of riding wild horses like our great hero of long ago, Taras Bulba, we don't change--We are still Cossacks!"

Not the least of Joseph Stalin's feats of violence in Soviet Russia has been to suppress and subjugate the famed Cossacks of the Don, for centuries Russia's boldest spirits, enjoying special immunities from the Tsar in return for their deathless loyalty and arrogant readiness to shoot down proletarian scum at the drop of a shaggy caracul hat. Some 20,000 members of the eleven Cossack tribes are now exiles, scattered throughout the world. Best known Cossack among non-Cossacks today is the distinguished War commander, General Peter Nikolaevitch Krasnov, blood-curdling author of such best sellers as From Double Eagle to Red Flag* and Napoleon and the Cossacks./-

*Blue Ribbon Books, $1.

/-Dufneld, $3.50.

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