Parliament's Week

The Lords: P: Spent most of the week hotly debating the blank check His Majesty's Government gave to Germany to violate the Treaty of Versailles in return for Adolf Hitler's promise to keep his navy at 35% of Britain's (TIME, June 24).

"It is a new moral standpoint," boomed Tory Lord Lloyd of Dolobran, "for Britain to say that because some nation broke the treaty and we could not resist her by force, we condone her action!"

"Supposing we had come to a similar arrangement with the Japanese behind the backs of the Americans!" snorted Labor Lord Strabolgi. "What would have been said in Washington?"

At this Earl Beatty, describing himself whimsically as "an ex-naval expert." remarked that it would be a good thing for Britain to "break the fetters" of the Washington and London Naval Treaties, since the U.S. is never going to fight the British anyway and Anglo-Saxons ought to be free to build whatever war boats they please to meet the menace of Japan.

Intoxicated by such Admiralty logic, the Rt. Hon. Winston Churchill, who had more fun as First Lord of the Admiralty during the War than he has ever had before or since, rushed off with present First Lord Sir Bolton Eyres-Monsell to announce at a banquet of stanch Rule Britannians, "Whatever view one may take the great fact stands out clear and glaring before us: We have got to rebuild the British fleet!"

For this purpose Mr. Churchill proposed an immediate bond issue, or "Next War Loan" as it was promptly dubbed. Sir Bolton revealed next day that Adolf Hitler, as an additional inducement to Britain to sign his blank check, promised "never again to resort to unrestricted submarine warfare."

The Commons:

P: Tagged dignified Foreign Secretary Sir Samuel Hoare with the nickname "Cleopatra" after he rose to answer for His Majesty's Government a question which, strictly speaking, should have been answered by Captain Anthony Eden, Minister Without Portfolio for League of Nations Affairs.

Snapped Laborite Colonel Josiah Wedgwood as Sir Samuel opened his mouth: "I meant this question for Anthony and not for Cleopatra!" (Guffaws).

In an effort to make things easy for potent Old Cleopatra, ambitious Young Anthony had seated himself obscurely on an extreme back bench. Last week it grew increasingly clear that Prime Minister Stanley Baldwin had bumbled in appointing what amounts to two Foreign Secretaries for the British Empire. Cleopatra, who used to be Secretary of State for India, kept forgetting he is now Foreign Secretary, once failed entirely to realize that a question had been addressed to him, then jumped up with an embarrassed start, fumbled with his papers and gulped, "I have no statement to make."

P: Were amazed to learn from League Minister Anthony Eden that His Majesty's Government have been willing for some time to cede part of British Somaliland to Ethiopia if she in turn would make quick concessions to Italy great enough to dissuade Premier Mussolini from his resolve to establish a protectorate over all Ethiopia.

Since such readiness to give away British territory profoundly shocked the Commons, Scottish Laborite James McGovern scored more than a laugh off the National Government by shouting, "Suppose we give Ethiopia the Irish Free State!"

Realizing that the House considered the National Government to be behaving in a manner anything but national, Foreign Secretary Sir Samuel Hoare cried, "The Commons must trust the Executive Department in these matters! If it is not prepared to trust the Government, the whole basis of government is destroyed." He then hinted that no actual effort will be made to settle the Ethiopian Question with a gift of British soil, Dictator Mussolini having scoffed at the idea and insisted on his own solution.

P: Noted that Sir John Simon, "the Empire's Highest Feed Lawyer" did not forget that he is now Home Secretary, having been demoted from Foreign Secretary. Sir John made his debut in Home Affairs on the issue of chain letters, a racket now spreading from the U. S. throughout Great Britain. Famed for his ability to speak learnedly on any subject without committing himself to either side, the Home Secretary toyed with the question whether in Great Britain chain letters are legal or illegal. "I may observe," said the Great Lawyer, "that certain types of snowball schemes, to which chain letters bear some resemblance, have been held by courts to be illegal lotteries. It is hoped the recipients of letters will in their own interests refuse to take part in the schemes, which at best are a snare and delusion and at worst provide a scope for dishonest exploitation of credulous members of the public."

At this the police, who are under Sir John Simon's orders, scratched their honest heads, unable to guess whether they were supposed to pounce on chain epistolarians or not.

This file is automatically generated by a robot program, so reader's discretion is required.