Monday, Mar. 02, 1936

"TIME brings all things."

Guest

In Sunnyside, Queens County, N. Y.. when Mrs. Louise Kleinmeyer Ryan got an engraved invitation in her mail to the wedding of Henrietta Goetz and Mrs. Ryan's husband Ralph, 34, together with an invitation to the wedding reception, she had him jailed for bigamy. Growled Ryan, "She must have been on the wrong mailing list."

Clomper

In Los Angeles, when Tenant Richard Godfrey, 18, took his horse upstairs and stabled it for the night in his apartment, Tenant Mrs. Frances Jebb called police because she could not sleep with the horse "clomping around upstairs." Protested Godfrey: "I've never let Tuffie out of my sight since we left North Platte, Neb. together. The man we rented the apartment from said it would be all right to take Tuffie right upstairs. You see, he's a trick horse."

Progress

In Minneapolis, pretty little Mrs. John Donlin charged her husband with assault & battery because, whenever he came home from seeing a wrestling match, he practiced holds on her, progressing from mild wristlocks to, finally, airplane whirls.

Crow

In Tulsa, Okla., a group of domestic science teachers, doctors and socialites ate crow at a formal dinner to prove that crow is good to eat. Local market price for crow: $1.50 a doz.

Thorough

In San Francisco, Sprinkler-Driver Al Elliott kept on sprinkling the city streets through a driving downpour. Haled before city officials, he indignantly asked, "Why should I drive in and lose half a day's pay? I was told to sprinkle the streets and I did. Is it my fault if it rains?"

Lesson

In Canon City, Colo.'s prison, Warden Roy Best invited 100 convicts to watch the gas chamber execution of a pig in rehearsal of the execution of Murderer Otis McDaniels the following night. Said the Warden: "It gave them a mental picture for reference purposes of death in the gas chamber." Said McDaniels, excluded from the test execution: "I would have liked to have seen it." Following night the Warden invited a picked handful of convicts to watch the death of McDaniels.

Winners

In Ziegler, Ill., the town council decreed that of its twelve firemen, only the first four to arrive at a fire will be paid the usual fee of $3.

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