"Names make news." Last week these names made this news:

Said oldtime Indiana Humorist George Ade on his 72nd birthday: ''I don't feel a day over 90."

Having finished about six-and-a-half years of an eleven-year term (almost four of them in Alcatraz), Chicago's No. 1 gangster, Alphonse ("Scarface") Capone, was reported to have gone berserk on leaving the dining hall, to have been carried to the infirmary where he spent day after day foolishly making and unmaking his bed. No. 23 on a list of 26 items ''desirable for the happiness of man'' compiled by famed Dr. Edward Lee Thorndike, director of the Institute of Educational Research at Teachers College, Columbia University: "Something to be angry at and attack."

Rock-ribbed Republicans of Castleton, Vt., getting ready to vote in local elections March 1, seriously pondered splitting their tickets. Democratic nominee for the post of town library director: pudgy, loquacious Theatre Critic Alexander Woollcott.

As New Jersey's lanky, drawling Senator William H. Smathers honeymooned in Florida after his marriage to Mary James Foley, his absence from the Senate was explained by sprightly, pink-&-grey whiskered Senator James Hamilton Lewis: "The senior Senator from New Jersey is detained by domestic urgencies."

Appearing at her press conference wearing lipstick (light red) for the first time, Mrs. Franklin Delano Roosevelt explained that although it took considerable time to apply, her daughter Anna assured her that she would soon learn to do it faster.

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