Official Doctrine

Bush-bearded Representative George Holden Tinkham (Republican) of Massachusetts believes that the best way to get re-elected to Congress is to leave the voters alone, go hunting wild animals in Africa, return only in time to vote for himself. This system has served him well for twelve consecutive terms. Last week he announced he would employ it this year as usual.

To the aid of less talented or venturesome Republican Congressmen, who feel the need for national issues to campaign on, came their leaders with help. Chairman Joseph W. Martin Jr. of the Republican Congressional Committee announced an official slogan: "Let's put America back to work!" Senate Minority Leader McNary and House Minority Leader Snell issued a semi-official nine-point platform. The Republican pledges for any campaigners who feel the need of them:

1) Repeal of repressive taxes.

2) End loose public credit control.

3) Balance the Budget.

4) Return Relief to the States.

5) Remove Relief from politics.

6) Reform Social Security.

7) Equalize the Wagner Labor Act.

8) Limit Government-in-business.

9) Limit bureaucratic control.

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