Miscellany

Pistol In Miami's Negro section, Theatre Usher Jack Woodberry was hauled into court for shooting at a pickaninny. His explanation: only a pistol loaded with blanks would scare off youthful gate crash ers. Sentence suspended.

Teacher In Hartford, Conn., a physical-education director, while conducting a class in setting-up exercises, sprained his back.

Tour In Chicago, after 100 touring children had departed from their hotel, the tour director mailed back a package. Contents: eleven spoons, five salad forks, one silver tray, two napkins, 17 washcloths, 22 bath towels, 58 small ash trays, three large ash trays, two water glasses, nine hotel signs, 24 shoe bags, one table knife.

Taxi Bronx Taxi Driver John Crowe got into an altercation with Patrolman Filomeo Saviola, was promptly jailed for disorderly conduct. He won a suspended sentence by signing a pledge: "I apologize to this police officer and promise that never again in my life will I commit a similar offense--that is, calling policemen screwballs."

Talk In Aargau, Switzerland, a prankster placed a Swiss Army poster warning "Keep Quiet--Idle Talk May Betray the Nation" under the speakers' rostrum of the canton's Legislature. A motion to remove it failed by one vote.

Husband In San Jose, Calif., Mrs. James E. Compton, seeking a divorce, testified that her husband's shadowboxing terrified her in the daytime, that his "deep, ringside breathing" kept her awake at night.

Housewife In Dallas, Tex., a dutiful housewife paid her budgeteering spouse $5 a week for room & board. When he presented her with a bill for gas and oil consumed by the family automobile, she sought and won a divorce.

Quarrel In Brooklyn, two motorists bumped, jumped, brawled. Charged with assault, Elliott Walton contended that William Marduet had seized him by the neck, choked him, that only then had he bitten William Marduet.

Teeth In Lewes, Del., 84-year-old Jacob Morris complained to his dentist of sore gums, was advised to throw away his false teeth, "get a teething ring." Reason: a new set was about to break through.

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