Theft. In Denver, thieves broke into a theatre, swiped 41 pipes from the organ.

Grounds. In Brooklyn, a woman of Italian descent sought separation from her British-born husband. Grounds: gloating.

Color. In London, a girl filing her A. T. S. (Auxiliary Territorial Service) registration blank stated that the color of her hair was "temporary."

Tired. In El Paso, Tex., a girl explained why her car crashed: "Everybody was arguing, and I was tired of it, so I just drove into the gate to stop them."

Divine Comedy. In Albania, advancing Greeks picked up a copy of a message from an Italian field officer to his commander: "This is an inferno, and I am Dante. For the love of God, please send planes."

First. In Aberdeen, N. C., Editor H. Clifton Blue of the Sandhill Citizen put up a prize for Aberdeen's first 1941 baby. The winner, a February arrival: H. Clifton Blue, Jr.

Man. In Manhattan, a man was committed for observation who allowed he had never heard of Hitler.

Names. In St. Augustine, Fla., saying "It costa me ten bucks but I like mucha better," Shrimper Tomas DiGrande got permission to change the name of his boat from Il Duce to Diana. In Chicago, House Painter Samuel Joshua Hitler asked to have his name changed to Gitler. In Hartford, Conn., Arnold Alvin De Ribbentrop, asked to be called Robinson.

Amendment. In Albany, a bill to make it a misdemeanor to report a fake robbery "to a police officer or any other person" was hastily amended when Senator Lazarus Joseph pointed out that "if I should lose some money in a poker game and explain to my wife I had been robbed, she could put me in jail just to get even."

Recorder. In Belleville, N. J., Eugene Mason Gavery, registrar of vital statistics, died after a long illness. His age was not known.

Monkey Suit. In San Jose, Calif., a man sued his wife for divorce on grounds she took her pet monkey to bed with them. Ruling that a man too supine even to kick his wife's monkey out of bed deserved no divorce, Judge Charles Davison granted the decree to the wife instead.

Absent Minding. In Philadelphia, a divorce action was withdrawn when the wife showed up, and when asked where the plaintiff was, replied: "He's out in the car minding the baby."

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