Monday, Apr. 07, 1941
THE DRAFT Curious Communications
Last week New York City's Selective Service (draft) headquarters issued the following handout: ". . . Our paper work is endless and, in 99% of the cases, of only official interest. The remaining one per cent occasionally brightens our day. Herewith is a file of the more curious communications [from draft registrants, their friends, et al.]. Names of people and towns have been changed. Otherwise the wording is verbatim." Some of the communications:
> "I was born in Omaha, raised in Pittsburgh, and registered for Selective Service in Tampa. I made the mistake of giving Brooklyn as my permanent address. I have never lived there. Why is this?"
> "How can I find out my draft number? I did not register, so I don't know where my local board is. How does one go about applying for Old-Age pensions?"
> "I would volunteer except I am puzzled about the laundry. Does the Federal Government pay the bill or do I out of my Army pay? Also I am a sleepwalker and I am told this is a Federal offense. I don't want to be in the guardhouse if there's a war going on."
> "I registered in New York, then recently moved to Miami. While packing my trunk I discovered I am not of age. That is all."
> "Who has my number? I have insulted my local broad and gotten very little information."
> "Please help me find my boyfriend. I haven't seen him in two years. He has curly hair and blue eyes and is very handsome. He told me his name was Smith. Please send me the addresses of all the local boards and Army camps in the country, so I can write and ask them too."
> "Selective Service Headquarters: Dear Sir: Your pants are ready. Please call for them at your earliest convenience."
> "I am secretly married because my mother-in-law hates me. I have been classified as IA, and have a very low order number. If I keep my marriage secret I will have to go to camp. If I announce my marriage I will have the old lady after me. What do you advise?"
This file is automatically generated by a robot program, so reader's discretion is required.