Rehearsal. In Miami, 30 men newly hired as emergency policemen turned up to be sworn into their jobs bearing a petition (denied) for a raise in pay.

Don't Get Up. Near Rimbey, Alberta, rescuers of snowbound, frostbitten Alexander Swanson, anxious not to disturb him, hitched a tractor to his shack, dragged it 38 miles to a hospital while Swanson stayed in bed.

Candy From Babies. In Pittsburgh, as Patrolman Jim Harvey crossed a sidewalk trap door he felt it start to rise, stepped aside, beheld two men ascending in state with $840 in swag, promptly nabbed them. In Oklahoma City, Autoist Russell B. Smith, stopped by two would-be robbers, scared them off by barking at his dashboard receiving set: "Calling all cars, reporting robbery at 37th and Classen."

Eviction. In Detroit, a constable got an order to evict a tenant of complaining Landlord Joseph Deeb, moved five roomfuls of furniture out into the street, then learned the tenant had already moved out, the landlord in. Cost to Deeb: $7 to a mover to get his furniture back in the house, the regulation $25 fee to the constable for his pains.

Life Is Real. In Washington, a patent was awarded to Charles T. Jacobs for a device that keeps the ice in a cocktail shaker from diluting the "dividend." In Des Moines, the Iowa legislature voted to protect ladies in sailboats from getting splashed by making it unlawful for a motorboat to pass a sailboat to the windward.

Progress. In Austin, Tex. sensitive dries on the Legislature's House Liquor Traffic Committee squirmed at the look of the committee's title on its stationery, had it changed to the Committee on Liquor Regulation.

Pitfalls of Love. In Minneapolis, Dental Survey magazine reported that a Canadian soldier who fell ill was discovered to have swallowed his girl friend's false teeth.

Bread from the Waters. In Chicago, students in an artificial-respiration class successfully applied artificial respiration to Mrs. Audrey Kettlewell, their teacher, who had collapsed while demonstrating artificial respiration.

Silver Lining. In Brooklyn, announcement that the Axis seemed to be diverting the contemptuous attention of scoffers was made by the pleased Society for the Prevention of Disparaging Remarks About Brooklyn.

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