Liquidation. Valdasar Lopez put a hose in a tugboat tank, turned on a valve, relaxed on deck while the tug took on water. He awoke in Manhattan's North River after the tug went to the bottom.

Love's Labor. Private Marvin Rubin took $7 worth of nickels into a Brooklyn phone booth, started calling his girl friend at 11 a.m., called her every five minutes for eleven hours, won her promise after spending $6.60 and losing 5 Ib.

Machine Age. Thomas Folweiler tried to get a package of ice cream out of a vending machine, grasped the package firmly, pulled, found his hand was stuck; firemen gave up the struggle 45 minutes later, smashed the machine away from Folweiler, who was treated at a Philadelphia hospital for lacerations and ice cream bite.

Colorful West. In Idaho Falls, Ranch Hand Jack Fifield worked on, undistracted by his black hair and sideburns, white goatee, red mustache.

Prime Mover. Judge Samuel Heller of Chicago ordered dilatory Max Segal to get on with his moving as planned, so that Irving Matlovitz could move into Segal's apartment, Morrey Merker into Matlovitz', and 20 other movers-in move in on movers-out.

Spring. Eleven-year-old Richard Miller of Pittsburgh ran away from home to see some ball games, turned up in Manhattan prepared to watch the Dodgers; ready for any emergency, he carried a bat, two baseballs, two catcher's mitts, two fielder's gloves. Billy Sykes and Harriet Wilkinson, both ten and barefoot, were taken into custody 60 miles from their Los Angeles homes by a deputy sheriff, who thus foiled their third attempted elopement.

Army Life. Suing her Army sergeant husband for divorce in Miami, Lieut. Betty Rachford La Macchia, an Army nurse, charged that he was cruel to her because he was jealous of her rank.

The Criminal Mind. In Houston, two men robbed Mary Burns of $5, quickly handed back a $2 bill, explained that it might bring them bad luck. In Long Beach, Calif, a robber socked Store Proprietress Cecilia Dodgion, tied her up, gathered $104 worth of vitamin pills, gave his victim a kiss, explained, "I must be nuts," departed.

Reeling Rats. George Hoyt of Berkeley, Calif, said he had found that the best way to catch rats was to feed them frozen pudding flavored with sherry: "I got those rats so tight I could catch them with my bare hands."

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