Monday, Aug. 23, 1943

The Reluctant Candidate. In the North Mississippi Herald, Mark Woods, candidate for the state legislature, advertised that he was obliged to vote for his rival because "the law of God operates during a political campaign . . . and it is my judgment that John Hodnett possesses qualifications . . . superior to mine." He added: "However, I cannot dictate the conscience of the county. The county must be free to choose. . . . Therefore I shall not withdraw my candidacy."

Fish Stories. In Grand Coulee, Wash., Fisherman F. M. Heaton, returning home fishless, encountered a rattlesnake, tied a slipknot in his fishline, made a cast, proceeded homeward with a rattlesnake steak.

In Reedsport, Ore., Mrs. Paul Bernhardt and Mrs. Charles Henderson set out to do a little seining, encountered a young cougar along the way, cast their net, brought him back alive.

Sleepy Report. In Oakland, Calif., Mr. & Mrs. Leo W. Gero were reported to have slept while the rug and floor blazed under their bed, slept while the fire apparatus roared up to the house, while the firemen piled in, while they fought the blaze and put it out, and left, carefully locking the door behind them.

Travel Trouble. In Indianapolis, Corporal Vance Jackson again arrived home from Colorado's Camp Carson on furlough, again found his folks had just left for Camp Carson.

American Mural. In Boise, Idaho, the FBI hoped that somebody would catch Leo Laverne Leroy, suspected parole violator, with his shirt down. His identifying tattoos: two American flags, a rising sun, a shield with an eagle, a bird, a rose, a butterfly, two stars, a sailing ship, a crucifix, an Indian girl, a heart, a spread eagle, a ballet dancer, a dragon, a sail boat, a girl's head, some flowers, a brace let, three hearts, a setting sun, a Pearl Harbor scene, three race horses, and the legends: "U.S.A. 1931" and "Manila, P.I., 1922."

Customer Satisfied. In Spokane, Wash., Everett J. Parker ordered twelve dozen doughnuts from a bakery, dropped around later to pick them up, found that the bakery had just burned to the ground. All that had been saved were twelve dozen doughnuts.

Fruitcake. In Washington, OPA cringed at the syntactical intricacy of an order involving fruitcake, resolved to simplify it, finally came up with: "All commodities listed in Appendix A are those known to the trade as such, excepting therefrom such thereof, if any, while subject to an other regulation."

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