Zigzag & Swirl

Whether it wanted it or needed it or not Des Moines last week had Lawsonomy "the base of absolute knowledge." For an unnamed sum the Humanity Benefactor Foundation bought defunct Des Moines University's 14 acres and six buildings (including dormitories for about 390 students), closed since 1929. On hand for the occasion was Lawsonomist No. 1, a 74-year-old ex-ballplayer, ex-aviation operator, crusader for valueless money, named Alfred William Lawson.

Equaeverpoise. Des Moines citizens who were curious about Lawsonomy could find some books and newspapers on the subject in the city library. Lawsonomy is to produce "the master human intellects of all time." It introduced "zigzag and swirl movement" and the law of penetrability. Samples of what the new university will teach and give degrees for: "From waste matter . . . elements of air and water . . . [and] from the Sun, Menorgs create living things. . . . The Menorgs found it more difficult to balance a two-legged animal than ... a six-legged one.... EQUAEVERPOISE of man is effected principally in three ways: 1) Nourishment, 2) Action, 3) Rest. . . .

"Each cell of the body contains a minute suction and pressure pump. . . . Before Alfred Lawson explained PENETRABILITY . . . no one seemed to know the cause of capillary action. The foregoing paragraph should clear up that problem for you.

When one studies . . . LAWSONOMY . . . all problems theoretically concocted in connection with Physics will fade away. . . . "All salads should contain a sprinkling of fresh cut grass. ... To imbibe alcoholic beverages. -. aids and abets the disorgs. ... The head should be ducked into a tub of cold water at least twice a day. . . . When man gets out of the economic rut . he will devote much time to the study of universal laws, and to do this successfully he will have TO GET OFF The Earth.

"Ain't does not exist at all. For instance, the fantastic supposition that there exists . . . something called Energy . . . ain't. . . . We must educate ourselves with truth . . . commercialized textbooks . . . must be discarded. . . ."

Direct Credits. The man who discovered all this, Alfred William Lawson, was born in England, attended no colleges, pitched for the Goshen, Ind. ball club in 1888. His Philadelphia Fly (1909) was the first popular aeronautical magazine. He later manufactured planes in Green Bay, Wis. designed and built a 26-passenger plane, made a pioneering profit flying it around the U.S. In 1920 he got the first U.S. airmail contract. A year later a Lawson plane crashed and the Lawson plane company followed suit.

Quitting business in 1928, Lawson turned his attention to humanity. He wrote a book called Direct Credits for Everybody, founded a society. In 1931 there were enough Direct Credits devotees to fill Milwaukee's city auditorium with white-uniformed, red-sashed convention delegates. At the bottom of the depression, Commander in Chief Lawson's outfit claimed millions of followers, thousands of officers (Michigan alone had about 100 major generals, 300 brigadiers).

Although Direct Credits seems to have largely gone the way of Ham & Eggs and other Utopias, a lot of people have had lessons in Lawson's economics. Fundamentals: abolish the gold standard, interest, "alien" financiers, and give everybody state credit secured by hope. Money would "have no value at all ... merely act as a measure . . . the quantity of it issued will not affect its purchasing power."

Students and Secrets. Lawson is not going around worrying his busy head about students for his Des Moines university. If no others show up, he figures on drawing from the 100,000 officers of the Benefactor Foundation. Foundation board members, incidentally, are secret. Explains Lawson: they often shift. Apparently Lawson does too. His home is nowhere more definite than "near Ann Arbor" or in a Detroit suburb--Ferndale or Royal Oak; his Detroit office staff is expert at evasion.

As for the Foundation and what keeps it ticking, Lawson says it is a nonprofit organization which gets its funds by selling his lucubrations. Improbable as that may seem, the Direct Credits Society's rating is no joke to Dun & Bradstreet. On that score at least, Des Moines had nothing to lose. Said one practical businessman last week: "If he's got money to spend, let him spend it here."

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