Bird Lore. In Boston, Arthur J. Orner, missionary to Rhodesia, reported that the migratory storks which usually returned to Germany from South Africa had refused to go home this year.

Singular Satisfaction. In London, the British Admiralty issued a ruling entitled "Monocular Vision," announcing that so long as one's duties were not interfered with, it would be quite all right for any naval rating (seaman) to wear a monocle.

Current Scene. In Los Angeles, the Robert Clyde Averys, both 73, celebrated their golden wedding anniversary by taking ten-minute rest periods from their work in a plane plant.

Never Mind. In Boise, Idaho, Police Chief R. G. Haskin caught up with a motorist, whipped out his pencil and book, asked him his name, learned it was Aloises Zachary Abernathy Mefgenthenwallerberry, let him off with a little lecture.

Folklore. In the Bronx Zoo, lions Frankie and Johnnie, no lovers, got into a fight and Frankie killed Johnnie.

In the Bag. In Columbia, S.C., a court attendant looked for Charles Caughman, the complaining witness in a trial, and found him sitting on the jury.

Pained Silence. In Chicago, JoeKuchan reported that he had been robbed of nearly $6,000 four days before, explained that he had not mentioned it sooner because he had a sore throat.

Delayed Take. In London, Private Ray Adler, who had once been in an auto accident in Alabama, received from the U.S. a copy of a medical discharge, discovered he had been officially out of the Army for more than a year and a half.

To Blame. In Denver, Patrolman Robert Stroessner arrived on the scene of a collision, found Motorist William Monaco nursing slaps and fingernail scratches, found angry Motorist Margaret Koseck now vigorously spanking her dog for interfering with her driving.

OPAmattox. In Denver, Landlord Robert E. Lee told the OPA he wished to evict Tenant Ulysses S. Grant.

Saleslady. In Toledo, George Eichenberg's housekeeper was hunted by police for allegedly selling his washing machine to six different people, none of whom received it.

Old School Tie. In Loma Linda, Calif., Dr. Edwin Lee remembered a Japanese classmate back in his college days when he finally got his missing anatomy textbook back -- from Attu.

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