One-Fifth Column. In Italy, Captain Pleasant McNeal saw a bill presented to the American Red Cross by a carpenter who added at the bottom of the bill "Plus 20% because you are Americans."

Sight Unseen. In Fort Benning, Ga., Sergeant William Eller made a parachute landing in a clump of trees, discovered that the grove was camouflage for a concrete runway. He survived.

Burned Up. In Washington Court House, Ohio, Telephone Superintendent Fred Rost reported that too much talking had overloaded eight switches, set his ex change on fire.

Infinity Plus. In Atlanta, John Samuels was sentenced to life imprisonment for murder, received an extra ten years on another charge.

Banzai! In Japan, a Tokyo broadcast reported the launching of a temperance campaign.

Photogrief. In Springfield, lII., a city editor was asked indignantly why there was no picture of the last draft group in his paper, replied sadly that his photographer had been one of the group.

Just Desserts. In Beckley, W.Va., a young man was charged with posing as a Government "applesauce and preserves tester." Working from house to house, he would declare preserves too sweet - a vio lation of rationing rules - collect $25 to guarantee the housewife's appearance in court.

Open House. In Detroit, Mrs. Myrtle Russell, in court on charges that she kept 14 malodorous cats, explained that she had only one cat, the rest were visitors.

Ave atque Vale. In Brooklyn, N.Y., Undertaker Ottavio Caratozzollo delivered his granddaughter, a glb. girl, a few feet from the embalmed body of Frank Lo-Verso, whose favorite remark had been, "When I die, a baby will be born to take my place." Copstretician. In Manhattan, Patrol man Francis Devlin, in his 19th year on the force, delivered his sixth baby.

4-Fighter. In Belleville, lII., husky (6 ft., 180 Ib.) Edwin Taylor, 4-F because of poor vision, put the blitz on four sol diers who taunted him as a slacker. The results : two in the hospital, one runaway, one crawlaway.

Vanishing American. In Albuquerque, Police Chief Pat O'Grady was mortified when a woman whom he held for investi gation as an alien was found to be a Pueblo squaw.

This file is automatically generated by a robot program, so reader's discretion is required.