G.I. Network

The most interesting U.S. radio network is not really a network at all; its eight stations are independent. It goes on the air every morning at 6:30; its listeners--U.S. soldiers from Casablanca to Naples--hear a bugle play reveille, followed by a steaming arrangement of Bugle-Call Rag. This is the way the Armed Forces Radio Service starts the day. The stations give the time every five minutes until 8 o'clock, when a voice advises: ''If you're not working, you're in trouble, but!"

Prime mover is Major Andre Baruch, ex-CBS announcer.* When the Americans hit the North African beaches in November 1942, Lieut. Baruch was aboard ship off Casablanca, telling the French to take it easy. When the shooting was over, he and Clayton Dow, another ex-CBSer, and Houston A. Brown, ex-engineering professor (both are now majors), sat around with not much to do, decided to build a radio station.

With General Patton's permission, they put one up at Casablanca--out of baling wire, appropriated French parts, and broken-up radio sets. They read news items from the newspapers, told funny stories, played their library of 17 recordings. Last March a couple of U.S. transmitters turned up, and the Mediterranean Army network was under way. Now it even has a station which travels with the Fifth Army. It is operated by & for G.I.s.

Are You a Sergeant? The network can boast that it has more good programs than any one chain at home. Transcriptions of Bob Hope, Jack Benny,Fred Allen, Bing Crosby, Kate Smith et al. arrive weekly and are broadcast with no breaks for such affairs as soap operas.

Concentrating first on jive and popular music, Baruch and his men were soon swamped with telephone calls requesting the concert variety. The callers were most explicit, naming exactly what Beethoven they wanted, and by what performer. As soon as it could get its classical recording library built up, the network obliged. But the most famous request to date came from Lieut. General Mark Clark, who phoned to ask what was playing. Told that it was Beethoven's Fifth Symphony, he asked for some Hawaiian music. "Who's this calling, bud?" asked the announcer. "General Clark." said the General. He quickly got Aloha.

Transcriptions of popular U.S. programs like the Hit Parade came through with the commercial plugs neatly excised. Whereupon the G.I.s complained: they were homesick for commercials. A sergeant named Buell Snyder, who used to be a professional contest winner in private life, volunteered to fill the bill. His versions of commercials have been a resounding success. Sample:

"Are you a sergeant, hmmm? Do you have trouble being recognized at night? Do your men ignore you in the dark, huh, Sarge? See Joe Quartermaster and get your neon sergeant stripes. There's a pushbutton attachment. The slightest pressure and presto, your stripes light up like a Christmas tree."

Tired, Lackadaisical, Lustless? Officers, noting the popularity of these plugs, put them to work kidding soldiers' deficiencies--such as sleep: "Do you wake up in the morning with bags under your eyes, tired, lustless; do you do K.P. with no fervor or dig a lackadaisical latrine? Then try our product spelled S-L-E-E-P."

The German radio listened and entered the competition. A program called Sally And Pete was especially obnoxious. It played retranscriptions of the G.I. network programs with Nazi commentary added ('The Germans are a friendly people; why fight them?"). Engineer Brown got the idea of breaking in on the Germans on their own frequency. Thus, when Sally teased, "Why don't you boys go home?", Announcer Baruch would answer: "I don't know. My wife doesn't love me. Besides, we love you fellows very much, and tomorrow we are going to show you how much we love you by laying a couple of eggs in your backyard." The Germans finally gave up: the last straw was when Baruch, who speaks seven languages fluently, began to kid them in Yiddish.

News is the G.I.s' favorite radio item--and they get plenty of it. There are no commentators, experts, keyholers, just the cold facts. The Germans, for instance, do not "counterattack," they "advance." Says Baruch: "You can't eyewash the boys or smooth anything over; they're too close to it."

*Another ex-CBS man, a peacetime vice president, is Lieut. Commander Harry C. Butcher, General Eisenhower's personal aide.

This file is automatically generated by a robot program, so reader's discretion is required.