Hotbed. In Aiea, Oahu, the Plantation Health reported the case of an innerspring mattress that caught on fire during an electric heat-therapy treatment.

Cropped. In Murphysboro, Ill., an optimistic barber overheard Farmers Bill and Arthur Guetterslau complaining about their sour luck, promptly traded a haircut and a shave for 150 acres of flooded wheat.

Pony Express. In Detroit, police arrested a pony suspected of being the hit-&-runner who ignored a red light, ran down two pedestrians.

Pungent. In Manhattan. Magistrate Peter Abeles fined Harry Marrin $250, sent him to jail for five days -- because "your transactions in the onion black market smell to high heaven."

Floating Power. Somewhere in the Atlantic, Lieut. Commander Edward J. Van Gieson received a large envelope in the ship's mail, was pleased to have his 1944 auto license plates.

Fish Story. In Montgomery, Ala., Fisherman Gene Handy was disgustedly reeling in his plug after several luckless hours when a big-mouthed bass suddenly jumped for the plug, missed, landed squarely in the boat. The bass weighed 10 lb., 4 oz., said Fisherman Handy.

Jailers' Choice. In Ottawa, twelve Carleton County jail prisoners rioted, smashed furniture and windows when the warden banned gambling, took away playing cards.

Bought Off. In Port Chester, N.Y., Evans Ward returned home to find that burglars had made off with jewels worth $3,000, found his Great Dane watchdog contentedly munching a roast of beef from the refrigerator.

Exploit. On leave, a group of Marine Corps combat correspondents discussing their exploits of the night before demanded that silent Jack Vincent speak up.

Said he, at long last: "Got married." High Jinks. In Highwood, Ill., Mayor Charles Portilia returned from the Mayo Clinic, found that Acting Mayor Fidel Ghini had fired the police chief, appointed another, allowed gambling at a recreation club and twice fined the club $200 for the privilege. Explained ousted Alderman Ghini: "The money was for a new fire engine." The Strenuous Life. In Detroit, Mrs.

Dorothy L. Malin won a divorce and some sympathetic words from the judge: she had let her husband bring his former wife to live with them, but got fed up with entertaining his girl friends.

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