Comeuppance. Near Swift Current, Sask., Bachelor-Farmer Alfred Bessant lived alone in his cellar through 16 profitless, bad crop years, grew a $2,500 crop this year, came out of the hole.

Pastoral. In The Bronx, William Sher man, who identified himself as a nature lover and salesman of physical-culture books, was found guilty of the charge of shaving in a public-park drinking fountain.

Gold Standard. In Chicago, an anonymous cinemagnate laid down $200 in a shoe store, walked out in a pair of calfskin shoes with a gold slug in each heel, gold eyelets, gold-tipped laces.

Small Change. In Montreal, a father claimed his two-months-old baby at a hospital, decided on the way home that the child was not his, left it with two small girls, hurried back to the hospital for another baby.

Patriot. In Portland, Ore., a woman motorist gave four A coupons for 12 gallons of gas, sighed when the tank took only 11.9, cheerfully raced her motor until there was room for the rest.

Admiral's Flag. In The Bronx, Anthony Dentini suspected his wife of having a male visitor, complained that Mrs. Dentini always signaled her admirer by hanging her husband's pants on the clothesline right side up when he was at home, bottom side up when he was away.

New Freedom. In York, Pa., the City Council decided that smoking is no longer a waste of "good eating tobacco" and violin-fiddling no longer "debauched the morals of the young," planned to legalize both.

Frontier Justice. In Glace Bay, Nova Scotia, a magistrate and two miners, drunk and disorderly, were locked up for the night, later met in a nearby court where the magistrate (who had just paid a $5.50 fine himself) lectured his jailmates on temperance, fined them $13 apiece.

Gracious Living. In Washington, William Garstang applied for a patent on a machine to make monogrammed waffles.

Bedbugs. In Manhattan, Nature Photographer Lilo Hess leashed five praying mantises with thread and safety pins to the foot of her bed to catch flies and mosquitoes.

Out of Water. In Bournemouth, England, Mrs. Dorothy Banner cleaned her chimney, found wriggling in the soot alive, 10-in. golden carp.

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