Collateral. In Houston, a war-working mother asked police to get back her two baby daughters--held as security for a $47 debt by an irate babysitter.

C'est la Guerre. From France, Staff Sergeant Paul Lobel notified his family in Middleboro, Mass., that a French girl tried to kiss him, pulled him from a jeep, broke his rib.

Dead Reckoning. In Westerville, Ohio, the coroner decided to investigate when a friend reported that Mrs. Maclora Pendleton, when asked how her ailing husband George was feeling, had said: "Oh, he's been dead a week."

Without a Hitch. Near Fort Belvoir, Va., an Army private, unable to thumb a ride to Washington, held out a pack of cigarets, got a ride in the first car.

Kiddies' Matinee. In Etna, Pa., a little boy stepped up to a captured Japanese machine gun on display in a movie lobby, pressed the trigger, chattered a stream of bullets into the opposite wall.

Exactly. In Washington, OPA defined an "industrial user" of processed foods under rationing: "one who uses a processed food to produce a product that is not a processed food."

How Do You Like That? In Buffalo, 30 passengers on an intracity bus, stranded in the snow, got out, huffed & puffed, got it going, watched helplessly as the bus drove off without them.

'Twas the Night Before. . . . In San Antonio, an ex-newspaper reporter turned Santa Claus (for a local department store), returned from lunch two hours overdue and tipsy, trod on a shiny, bright red wagon, coasted halfway across the floor, barked at the fascinated kiddies who pattered to his rescue: "Get away, you little bastards."

Walk, Don't Run. In Manhattan, when fire broke out at the Charles Cafe, customers were herded into line, headed toward the door, passed the cashier's desk, paid their checks on the way out.

Open House. In Los Angeles, Donald Scott, President of Third Western Housing Defense Co., explained that a big local housing development had not opened for lack of doors--somebody had stolen 566 of them.

Strip Tease. In Red Bank, N.J., a busload of soldiers heard a female voice ask the driver, "Will you wait a minute, please, while I get my clothes on?", twisted their necks out of joint, saw a laundress lift aboard a load of linen.

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