Quite Contrary. In Fallen, Nev., Victory Gardener M. B. Johnson girded himself for another season, hoped that this year, for a change, his crossbred tomato-potato plant would blossom with the spuds in the ground.

Instep Out. In Sunbury, Pa., William E. Moyer was sent home by the Army because there were no G.I. shoes to fit his size 1 feet.

Sweet & Lowdown. In Manhattan, Saxophonist Ernest Andreano was arrested for stealing a shaker full of sugar from a Horn & Hardart Automat.

Five Hundred Smackers. In Milwaukee, the will of Bachelor Arthur Machek bequeathed $500 to a woman, long since married to another, "with whom, together, I kept company in 1889 . . . and who gave me the only kisses I ever got."

Background for Peace. At Fort Sheridan, Ill., the post library reported that its most popular books were those on the care & feeding of infants.

Shear Sucker. At Bryants Pond, Me., Farmer Claude Cushman, who had sheared his flock during a warm spell, had to run around to the neighbors when the temperature dropped again, collect all cast-off sweaters that he could find for his shivering sheep.

Eight to the Bar. In Richmond, Mrs. Pauline E. Conlon, a professional dancing teacher, asked the court for a divorce from her 15th husband, claiming that he beat her over the head once too often with his artificial leg.

Perfect Matches. In Washington, Elizabeth Bliss married a Lieut. Divine. In Bozeman, Mont., a marriage license was issued to Charles Wheat and Agnes Cotton. In Coronado, Calif., one Dorothy Dix was wed to a Lieut. Danny Deaver.

Nip & Tuck. In San Pedro, Calif., a dog snapped at Private Michael Zanick's gun and holster, hung on until the gun went off, blasting Zanick's toe. In Manhattan, Mrs. Marie Zollinger leaned over to tuck in the bedding, was shot in the chest by the rifle her husband kept under the mattress.

Rest Assured. In Bridgewater, N.S., William Crouse publicly disavowed responsibility for his wife's debts since she had left his bed & board. Retorted Mrs. Panana Gertie Crouse in a counter ad: "To all persons whom it may concern. I wish to say that I did not leave my husband's bed & board as he did not own the bed I slept in. I bought it, and when I left Wm. A. Crouse I took my bed with me."

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