Not Up to Snuff. In Newark, police discovered that practically all the patrons of Ah Lee Chung's den were required to bring their own opium.

2 X 2. In Victoria, B.C., twins were born to Mr. & Mrs. Twice.

Ceiling Zero. In Muskegon, Mich., the local OPA, with no jurisdiction over commercial buildings, started searching for new offices when its landlord proposed to boost the rent from $175 to $600 a month.

Easy Pickings. In Milwaukee, Owen Murphy noticed that a Y.M.C.A. cafeteria marked its day-old slabs of pie with toothpicks and sold them at half-price, also spotted a thrifty diner who was toting his own supply of toothpicks.

Carry On. On Okinawa, Pfc. David Ward of Miami took time out from soldiering to help a native woman give birth to a son, was rewarded with two eggs.

Random Harvest. In Albuquerque, N. Mex., F. M. Griswold stepped out into his frontyard, just missed falling into a ditch from which thieves had, overnight, uprooted his seven-year-old hedge.

Playtime. In Emporia, Kans., Mrs. Carrie Stepter, 104, declaring "I've worked for more than 100 years and now I'm going to play a while," bought herself a pair of unrationed play shoes.

Is This the Face? In Lincoln, Neb., an amorous aerial gunner noticed the name "Helen" and a phone number on the wall of a booth, dialed, was greeted with, "Hereafter save your nickels and buy war bonds." They Also Serve ... In Manhattan, Gristede Brothers, grocers, sent two boys with each pushcart load of orders -- the extra one to stand guard over the butter.

End of the Line. In Albany, the New York State Office of Civilian Protection, anticipating the complete disbanding of 22,000 auxiliary firemen, barred them from further rides on fire engines and slides on stationhouse brass poles.

Period! In Cleveland, Robert Harris faced the court for sentence on a drunken driving charge, fainted dead away when he heard, "$100 and costs, to be executed by July 2." Carried Away. In Chicago, Lester Bel grade stood in line two hours for two steaks and entrusted the package to his trained cocker spaniel, a faithful package-bearer for the past five years. Next day he was still waiting anxiously for the missing dog to come home.

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