The Bashful Bandits

As the bus bounced across north Szechwan, Tso Tsen-hwa, tax collector for the Chinese Government, sat squeezed among his fellow passengers and their luggage. Suddenly the brakes screeched. Outside were eight bandits.

The passengers were lined up, stripped of money and valuables. Tso Tsen-hwa was the last man in line. When the bandits reached him, he spoke out: "At last I have caught you! I am the tax collector. You are engaging in business and you are evading taxes!"

Cried the bandits: "We are poor peasants. Ours is a very small business."

Said the tax collector: "Our country depends on taxes to maintain the war effort."

The bandits were ashamed. They stood by as Tso Tsen-hwa inspected their loot, calculated its value at $5,000,000 (Chinese, inflated). "The business tax," he said, "is 3.35%; $120,000 will be sufficient. Since Government regulations provide that itinerant traders may pay their taxes directly to the collector, I will class you as itinerants and conclude the transaction on the spot."

The bandits counted out $120,000 from their loot. Solemnly the tax collector gave them in return the official $4 tax stamps. Then the bandits made off for the hills. Tso Tsen-hwa and his fellow passengers climbed back into the bus, continued on their way.

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