General Alexander M. Patch crawled into a baby pen in Staunton, Va., provided news photographers with the week's high in pictures of generals fraternizing with children. He took his ease (see cut) with Grandchildren A. M. Patch IV and Julie Drummond.

Lieut. General William H. Simpson, in Pittsburgh, planted an all-out buss on the cheek of Granddaughter Jean Stevenson.

General George S. Patton Jr., in Hamilton, Mass., represented the spit-&-polish school with a formal bow over the hand of a little girl who had presented him with a bouquet.

Princess Juliana of The Netherlands, sporting a heavy tan and a white "Dutch boy" cap, arrived in Manhattan aboard the Queen Elizabeth. Then she caught a train for Ottawa, to gather up her three children and take them home. Tennessee's Congressman Harold H. Earthman, a fellow-passenger on the troop-packed ship, burbled to reporters: "She is superb. She is the most democratic princess I have ever known in my life."

Benito Mussolini was named as father of an illegitimate girl by a woman who complained to Milan newspapers. Next day a 30-year-old turned up who claimed the name, Benito Mussolini Jr., as his illegitimate right.

Ready-to-Wear

Eleanor Roosevelt had an ancient Egyptian ring coming to her from the estate of British Egyptologist Major R. G. Gayer-Anderson, who died last month after willing five such rings to five famed men: the late President, Winston Churchill, Field Marshal Sir Bernard Law Montgomery, Sweden's Crown Prince Gustaf, Egypt's King Farouk.

Knut Hamsun, Norway's 85-year-old Nobel Prizewinning novelist (Growth of the Soil), pleaded not guilty to a charge of collaboration--but admitted his pro-Nazi sympathies and wore his Norwegian Nazi Party badge to court.

Rodrigue Cardinal Villeneuve, spiritual head of Canadian Catholics, sounded a seasonal warning to sun worshipers: "Christian decency does not allow the wearing of shorts, even at amusement centers."

The Old Gang

Anthony ("Mops") Volpe, once Al Capone's bodyguard and Public Enemy No. 2, was on his way to Italy at last. First ordered deported in 1930, he fought the order for years, finally lost--and then Mussolini refused to take him. Last week he was poised on Ellis Island.

Adolf Hitler's ex-bodyguard, Sepp Dietrich, strove mightily to please when questioned by Allied captors. Choice Dietrich characterizations of the old Hitler Gang:

Himmler: "A great hand at hoarding and scrounging."

Reinhard Heydrich: "A great pig."

Goring: "Lazy, a clown."

Hitler: "Knew even less than the rest ... a sucker. . . ."

The Homey Touch

Bobby Jones was no longer allowed to stroll through his home taking practice shots at imaginary golf balls, reported son Robert III. Mrs. Jones laid down the law after the great man missed an imaginary ball, dug a heroic-sized, irreplaceable divot out of the living-room rug.

Bernarr ("Body Love") Macfadden, 76, senescent strong man and ex-publisher (True Story, Physical Culture), was still fighting for a divorce after 15 years' separation from his wife Mary. He appeared in a Miami court, in sky-blue sports jacket with matching suspenders, to complain that the onetime London beauty champion (1912) had let her figure get completely out of hand: "I wanted her to be an example of my work and a credit to me."

Emmy Goering has sued Hermann for divorce, reported the Stockholms-Tidnin-gen. She confided that there had never been any "real" marriage between them. And besides, said she, she never really liked him: she just sympathized with him.

John Carradine, Hollywood cloak-&-dagger character actor, was arrested and released on $2,000 bail after his ex-wife complained that he was about to leave California without paying up the $4,116 back alimony she says he owes.

The Duke of Windsor endorsed a $1,000 check from the Reader's Digest (for a little piece he had sent them last winter), handed it over to the New York Daily Mirror's fund to finance wounded servicemen's telephone calls home.

Fred Perry, 36-year-old ex-world champion tennist (amateur and pro), was sued for divorce by his second wife, who charged cruelty. (Cinemactress Helen Vinson had divorced him in 1940 after complaining that he made her attend all his tennis matches.)

John (Major Joppolo) Hodialc, in Manhattan for the cinema premiere of A Bell for Adano, told an interviewer, "I'd like to get married more than anything. I especially believe in being married in Hollywood. It's just no place for a bachelor. There's nothing for a bachelor to do."

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