Cradle Snatcher. In Waukesha, Wis., a deadpanned jury pronounced a Holstein bull guilty of contributing to the delinquency of minors (two heifers), fined his owner $75.

"I Wanted Wings." In Amarillo, Tex., B. P. Brents wondered what on earth to do with a Flying Fortress he had just won in an essay contest. His winning thesis: "What I'd do with a Flying Fortress if I had one."

Sure Bait. In Superior, Wis., Mildred Worm agreed to marry David Hook.

Smoke-Cured. In Manhattan, John Sforza, 19, strolled along Fifth Avenue, suddenly turned a corpselike hue, collapsed, was rushed to a hospital. Diagnosis: cigar--his first.

Power of a Woman. On Okinawa, three struggling G.I.s huffed & puffed at the task of carrying a folded tent to a loading area, five minutes later saw it move down the road atop the head of a tiny Okinawan woman.

About Face. In Honolulu, the W.T.C.U. applied for and got a liquor license. Reason: it wanted a pint of alcohol to demonstrate the evils of drink.

In Sheep's Clothing. In Ottawa, a hungry patron stalked into a lunchroom on meatless Tuesday, thrust a struggling sheep on a popeyed waiter, barked: "Make me a mutton sandwich."

Journey's End. In Langhorne, Pa., Vincent J. Amanna looked and looked, at long last found a house for rent, dropped dead.

Slick Chick. In Lexington, Mo., a hen, bought for the pot, worked furiously for a reprieve, produced eight eggs in nine days, six of them double-yolkers.

Hard Case. In London, burglars broke into Cox and Danks, Ltd., took only small change, chalked a disgusted message on the safe: "Too tough to open."

Capitol Offense. In Washington, Senator Charles W. Tobey thundered about the butter shortage, left the Senate, returned to his office, found two pounds missing from his secret cache in a water cooler.

Eight to the Bar. In Boston, Mrs. Catherine Bills sued for divorce, got it. Grounds: Husband George beat her--in tune to the radio.

Progressive Enterprise. In Monrovia, Calif., the Dutch Boy Dairy reassured customers with a new slogan: "Our cows are not contented; they are striving to do better."

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