Advice to the Lovelorn

The Chicago Tribune's tall, tired-looking Photographer Frederick Giese had been covering courts for eleven years. He had stuck his head into Judge Joseph Sabath's court about a zillion times. What had he seen? Well, brother, he'd never seen no Gypsy Rose Lee dancing in the jury box. Just jerks he had to photograph. But since it was his life work he looked in again one day last week. Nope. The joint looked haunted. Nobody inside but a black-haired young guy, a blonde dame, and a lot of empty seats.

They looked so sad that he went in anyhow. No story. The guy was just another guy, name of Faro Mannino, age 25. Same with the dame. She was Eleanor Mannino, age 21. They were sore because they had gotten a divorce last December. They were sitting on opposite sides of the room, waiting to see the judge about the dame getting more money for their baby. Giese had seen a zillion like them. But he decided to give them the benefit of some good advice.

"You'll never get together if you sit that far apart," he said. "You've got to sit closer and hold hands." Both preserved a stony silence. "You're young and good looking," Giese went on, "and I think you're still in love. Now I been married 26 years and I've got three kids. Sure my wife and I have spats. But one of us always remembers my wife's favorite answer: 'the smartest one always gives up first.'"

Nobody said anything. Since Giese was doing all this for free he just let it go at that, picked up his Speed Graphic, and left.

But when he had gone the guy and the dame got up and approached each other. In a little while they walked out, arm in arm. The next day they called on Giese. They had a very important question and so naturally they wished to ask him. Would he consent to be their best man? Giese said why naturally he would consent. The wedding was held in Judge Joseph Sabath's court and after it was over Giese kissed the bride.

"That," he said, looking at the lipstick on his handkerchief, "is something which must be tactfully explained to my wife." Then he licked a flashbulb, stuck it in his speed gun, and banged off a picture of the happy couple.

This file is automatically generated by a robot program, so reader's discretion is required.