Pound Foolish. In Manhattan, Arthur Crayton tried to pick the pocket of a fat man asleep in a subway station, got his hand caught firmly when the sleeper shifted, was finally extricated by two cops.

On the Llam. In Delaware, N.J., a woman telephoned police, reported "dinosaurs or something" on her lawn. Police finally rounded up four llamas, escaped from a local animal farm.

This Is the Army. In Munich, an American officer's wife arrived from the U.S., deposited her two children in her husband's house, promptly departed after remarking: "Now you take care of them for a few years."

Family Affair. In Tulsa, Mrs. Jessie Eli had the cops collar two strange young men who had entered her house, next day asked to have them freed when she learned they were her brothers-in-law.

Inch, Ell. In Cleveland, Mrs. Jessie Salsburg graciously allowed a bus driver to use her front yard faucet to fill his steaming radiator. All the drivers on the route followed suit, in three months ran the Salsburg water bill up to $94.

Late Bulletin. In Forst, Germany, an indomitable carrier pigeon turned up with a three-year-old message from a Nazi infantry detachment: "We are cut. off by the enemy in southern Italy and no hope is left of breaking through."

Nimrods. In Durand, Wis., two crestfallen hunters learned that the horned-game they had proudly lashed to their autos were goats. In Oakland, Calif., Stanley Chaconas returned from the hunt with two pheasants, flushed and caught by a dog before he could fire a shot.

Happy Returns. In Decatur, 111., a lady bountiful gave a seedy-looking stranger $1 and a cheery injunction: "Keep your spirits high." Later, the stranger presented her with $37, her share of the winnings on a horse named High Spirits.

Vocational Training. In Olympia, Wash., an illiterate prisoner learned to read & write in the State Reformatory, got paroled, bounced back in jail to serve a term for forgery.

Hold, Enough! In Oldham, England, Actor Antony Oakley, playing Macduff in Macbeth, charged with his dagger, laid on with such vigor that Macbeth was laid up with a five-inch abdominal wound. In Toulon, France, Baritone Fernand Lagarde, carried away by the third act stabbing scene in Bizet's Les Pecheurs de Perles, was carried offstage with a two-inch abdominal wound.

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