More Work to Do. In St. Louis, Detective Russell Schroeder arrived at the scene of a burglary, put his fingerprint kit down for a moment, presently found that somebody had stolen it.

Live & Learn. In Salt Lake City, 15-year-old Alice Martinez, who had dashed into the side of a moving auto at 10th Avenue and E Street, was treated for scratches and shock, released from the hospital, ran off to tell some friends, shortly dashed into the side of a moving auto at 10th Avenue and E Street, was taken to the hospital, treated for scratches and shock.

Efficiency Rating. In London, James Ferguson muttered sadly: "I can't run like I used to, and I'm getting clumsy. I knock things over on the job"; he thereupon announced that, having spent some 45 of his 93 years in jail, he was finally retiring as a housebreaker.

Clash of Wills. In Philadelphia, ten members of the police force trying to investigate an auto crash were kept at bay for almost nine hours by a ferocious little dog.

Barrage. In San Antonio, police demanded of Viviano Pantoja why he had shot his revolver 47 times at 4:30 a.m., got the explanation: he was repelling an invasion of cockroaches.

The Best Motives. In Providence, a 17-year-old girl, arrested for stealing a car, explained to police that she needed it to practice up for her driver's test.

If. In Albany, Virginia McMenamy sued Western Union for $209.73, explained that it was the amount she would have won if she had bet on a horse, which she said she would have done if a hot tip had been delivered to her in time.

Lesson. In Ionia, Mich., a thief Willis Clark had chased out of his garage returned a couple of hours later with a pistol, robbed Clark of $200, remarked virtuously: "That will teach you to treat people better."

Get Me? In Cheektowaga, N. Y. Homeowner Walter Pietrzak sat down and wrote to the Town Board: "I want my street fixed, it is a lousy street. I want a sign on it too. That street is really bad. Fix it because it needs fixing. You must fix it because if you don't I will not pay any tax. Fix it. Please fix it. It needs fixing very bad."

No Go. In Pittsburgh, an auto thief jumped into Lee McGuigan's car, rolled slowly downhill to a stop, ran away defeated when he found that the motor had been removed for repairs.

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