Dogged. In Kelso, Wash., Mrs. R. K. Chess advertised, her two dogs for sale, gave her phone number, got no calls at all, finally discovered that the dogs had chewed away the phone connection.

Striking Likeness. In Nice, France, Henriette Kennis entered a beauty contest stark naked, got off with a suspended fine when her attorney persuasively defined her in court as "a work of art."

Intermural. In Washington, the Veterans of Foreign Wars called for housing reform when they learned that the eight-year-old son of Veteran William Alfred Griffin had thrown a baseball right through the wall of one Government-sponsored house.

Cover-Up. In Chicago, Herbert E. Rasmussen confessed that he had set a $125,000 fire--to destroy the evidence of a $16 burglary.

Dept. of Correction. In Columbus, Ind., Freed Prisoner James Wheeler was put right back in jail when he was caught departing with 16 jail teaspoons.

Monotonous. In Los Angeles, Ernest Johnson was accused of assault by wife Susie Johnson, arrested by Detective Sergeants H. R. Johnson and E. T. Johnston, and defended in court by M. O. Johnson.

Homebody. In Los Angeles, Mary Jo Gilt won an annulment when she complained that John Gilt had married her just to get her apartment, then locked her out the day after the wedding.

Busybody. In Phoenix, Ariz., Francis Joseph Bressi, 23, walked into the sheriff's office, explained that he had married eight women, six of them bigamously, now wanted to be locked up "rather than jeopardize the happiness of more girls."

Man v. Machine. In Providence, Bus Terminal Agent Harold Waterman told police that a determined patron dropped a nickel in a vending machine, got nothing, shook it, still got nothing, picked it up and carried it off.

Crime Pays. In Springfield, Mo., Clerk Harry Nicholson announced that hereafter guests of the county jail could pay for their meals, if they had the price, and thereby shorten their terms.

Bottoms Up. In Baltimore, the embarrassed manufacturers of Gallagher & Burton's bourbon promised outraged customers an investigation; somehow, 3,600 half-pints labeled as whiskey had turned out to be straight city water.

Wages & Hours. In Waukesha, Wis., John Szibel sued for divorce, said his wife demanded 75-c- an hour for housework.

This file is automatically generated by a robot program, so reader's discretion is required.