Occupational Hazard. In Connersville, Ind., Postal Clerk Ben McKinney mislaid his glasses, ultimately got them back postmarked Fort Worth, Tex.

Maladjusted. In Manhattan, the Ellin Prince Speyer Hospital for Animals informed the press that it had successfully treated a cat suffering from an eggnog hangover, might yet cure another that refused to eat until it had heard the scale played on a harmonica.

Efficiency. In New Castle, Ind., the city put on sale $10 books of tickets which entitled the buyer to 20 parking violations a year.

Breadwinner. In Cambridge, Mass., a housewife explained why she kept her husband drunk: sober, he made $30 a week; in jail for drunkenness, he made her eligible for $60-a-week welfare.

Bon Voyage. In Liverpool, England, determined Traveler George Smith belatedly learned about British export laws, auctioned off at the pier his car and a greyhound, then learned that he could not take his earnings out, gave away his auction money.

Poultry Sum. In Kansas City, Werdin E. Harlow sued Fred C. Bays for $800, said it was wages due him as a "professional chicken and turkey sitter."

Fair Exchange. In Waukon, Iowa, Mayor Lyle Simon resigned, took over the dry-cleaning business of Ludwig Larson, who took over the mayoralty.

Cum Laude. In Detroit, the law caught up with 1) Tony Ria, who had flunked five exams for the police force and passed a sixth, 2) Robert Gilligan, who had taken Ria's physical for him, 3) Joseph Sakow, who had taken Ria's written exam.

Bootleg. In Bucklin, Kans., Farmer R. D. McColm investigated a decline in his cow's milk production, discovered that a pig had been beating him to the draw.

Cast of Characters. In Macon, Ga., Agnes Aline Murphy, who had a broken leg, and Anthony Pate Hall, who had a broken leg, went to get a marriage license, were directed to the proper office by Linton Burket, who had a broken leg.

Correctional Institution. In Columbus, Miss., Convict Frank Gardner stayed on as chef after his term was up, stayed on as a prisoner after he was caught cooking stolen chickens.

March of Science. In Bar Harbor, Me., Dr. Clarence C. Little proudly announced that he had developed a strain of neurotic mice "so afraid of women that they will jump on a chair."

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