Torch of Learning. In Matthews, Ind., High-School Teacher Hobart Black was fired for waking up somnolent students by giving them the hotfoot.

Friend of the People. In Wichita, city commissioners scheduled seven new fund-raising drives, suppressed a move by Commissioner L. A. Donnell to proclaim a "Leave Us Alone Week."

The Cure. In Sydney, Australia, Dorothy Murphy, suing Leopold Lord for breach of promise, was awarded $1,500 damages when she testified that she had hiccupped for six months after he jilted her.

Policeman's Lot. In Lebanon, Ind., Patrolman Alva Lundy turned in his badge, bitterly explained: "I got a cussing with every ticket I passed out."

The Big Hello. In Bristol, England, Butcher William Eddy, arrested for brandishing a meat saw and a carving knife on High Street, declared that he was just waving to a friend.

Editorial Comment. In Danville, Va., the warrant for Winfred Dewey Brown's arrest charged him with "illegal and luscious cohabitation."

Ruminant. In Black Hawk County, Iowa, Farmer Sheldon Anton finally spotted the cause of an old lump on his cow's flank when he noticed twelve inches of pitchfork handle protruding from her ribs.

Proper Name. In Atlanta, a charge of possessing salacious pictures taken in a nudist camp was placed against one F. C. Peek.

Suggestible. In Salina, Kans., an Air Force private drew You Don't Belong Here from the post library, shortly went AWOL.

Nightmare. In Orofino, Idaho, Mr. & Mrs. Marshall Converse woke up in a shower of glass, discovered that a passing horse had poked his nose through their bedroom window to nibble a vase of appetizing flowers.

Fun at Home. At LaGuardia Field, N.Y., the American Airlines' lost & found department was looking interestedly for whatever party lost a case of beer, an automatic backscratcher, three burlesque-type G-strings, a strait jacket.

Infraction. In San Francisco, a notice on a Southern Pacific Railroad bulletin board announced the dismissal of "one redcap porter ... for shooting and killing wife; a violation of that part of Rule 801 reading, 'Employees who are . . . vicious . . . will not be retained in the service.' "

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