The Function of Mountains

Twice a month, the tribes living in the foothills of the Amne Machin range of western China sing an ode to the mighty peaks above. They sing that Amne Machin is a sacred mountain, holding untold stores of gold. Travelers who tamper with its treasures or its mysteries (says the ode) will provoke divine wrath expressing itself in hailstorms and other calamities.

Undeterred, Chicago's Milton Reynolds, manufacturer of ballpoint pens (". . . writes high in the stratosphere . . ."), together with the Boston Museum of Science, arranged an expedition that would explore the hitherto entirely unexplored Amne Machin range. Reynolds was out to discover the world's highest mountain (which some believe may be located in the Amne Machin), expressed the hope that a grateful China would name it after him.

"Well, I'll Curl Up!" Reynolds loves adventure and publicity. In Shanghai, he created riots by giving away Reynolds pens. The expedition's plane developed engine trouble. The hailstorms mentioned in the ominous ode materialized, made flying impossible. Said Reynolds: "This may be called the lousiest, most disorganized expedition in history, but it will still be said: 'They made it.' "

Soon after that the whole expedition was called off amid fumes of ill will. One day, the Reynolds plane took off, supposedly to go to the U.S. via Tokyo. When it returned to Shanghai after 14 hours, Bradford Washburn, director of the Boston Museum of Science, exclaimed: "Well, I'll curl up and die! He must have flown over the Amne Machin range!"

One day last week, Adventurer Reynolds flew into Tokyo, claiming to have barely escaped from the incensed Chinese authorities. He said he had thwarted his pursuers by hurling several cartons of the versatile Reynolds pens at them.

"He Can Lie on His Back." In the midst of the affair, a Peiping newspaper, Hsin Min Pao, drew a moral:

"There are differences between the Chinese and Western attitudes toward mountains. . . . Chinese poets are inspired by mountains to write poems. . . . Mountains in China also serve as inspiration for suggestive landscape paintings. The artist does not necessarily have to visit the mountain. He can lie on his back and dream. . . . Now we have Mr. Reynolds, holding an atomic pen in his hand. . . . He knows the value of using mountains to publicize his name and his pen, while the Chinese know only about burying themselves after death in mountains which are famous."

Catching his breath in Tokyo, Reynolds said: "Now we are back in God's country--at least Americans run it." Americans still do not run the Amne Machin, which will continue to listen to its ode twice a month.

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