Precept & Example. In Galva, Ill., the Rev. Roger Wickstrand switched sermons at the last minute, admitted that he had lost the notes for the original one entitled: "Where art thou?"

Preselected. In Springfield, Mass., a woman complained that she could get nothing at all on her hearing aid but radio station WSFL next door.

Beginner. In The Bronx, Pickpocket Plunk Williams confessed to police that he was only an apprentice, that two experienced friends had tried to teach him but "I'm a poor pupil. I fumble every time."

Ready or not ... In Tallman, N.Y., Joseph Castellucci returned to his summer home shortly after the deer season opened, found: 1) a bullet-scarred chimney, 2) a well-riddled wall, 3) a bullet hole in the front window, 4) another in a bedroom mirror.

Campaign. In Petersfield, England, Commuter Raymond Francis Baird paid a $42 fine for pulling the emergency-stop cord on a 60-m.p.h. train, asserted: "I have written to the railway ... I will pull all trains up when they are going too fast."

Diversion. In North Plainfield, N.J., Joseph Vitelli explained to doctors that he had shot himself in the stomach to take his mind off a toothache.

Accessory. In Cooke County, Tenn., revenue agents, hiding in the brush nearby until a moonshiner returned to his still, watched a bear sample the product, then in a drunken rage destroy both still and evidence.

Family Album. In Pittsburgh, Minnie Just was married to William Good. In Detroit, Juliette St. Amour was granted a divorce from Romeo.

Professional. In Milwaukee, Charles Koktavy, arrested for printing football pool tickets, took a look at his warrant, announced proudly: "I printed those too."

Eternal Vigilance. In Carlisle, England, Chancellor H. H. King stoutly opposed a move to install a furnace in a local church, defended his stand on the grounds that if the temperature were too comfortable, everyone would go to sleep during the sermons.

Democracy. In Pittsburgh, Ollie Ziegler reported to police that one of the men who held him up was dressed in overalls, the other in a dinner jacket.

Incompatibility. In Los Angeles, Mrs. Audrey Bougher, serving a life term in prison, thought things over, divorced her husband, also a lifer.

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