A calendar of triumphs, defeats and contortions of the human spirit during 1948:

January. Near Winchester, Ind., a bull gored the auto of Jack Townsend, the county's artificial inseminator.

February. In Oklahoma City, fifth-graders polled on punishment preferences voted 34 to 1 that they would rather have a spanking than a friendly talk.

March. In Plymouth, Mass., a charge of intoxication was filed against Church Organist Edward Ward, who had aroused the suspicion of the police by rendering the St. Louis Blues on the Unitarian Church bells.

April. In Dallas, a distraught woman complained to police that a three-year-old child kept biting her great Dane.

May. In London, Paula Perks quit her job in a perfume shop, explained that the smell "got me down," went back to pig farming.

June. In Minneapolis, Gebhardt M. Moses sued an auto dealer for $30,000, declared that the suspense of waiting & waiting for delivery of his new car had given him ulcers.

July. In London, Lord Mancroft entered a Conservative Party meeting, expressed regret that he could not speak as scheduled because "My house is on fire." In Nashville, Julius Frankie Robinson explained to police why he had stolen his son from his ex-wife's sister: "To give him a bath."

August. In Glendale, Calif., Albin Nelson complained that his neighbor, Miss A. C. Madsen, not only kept him awake all night while she listened to the Republican Convention, she stuck a hose through the window and squirted him when he tuned in the Democrats.

September. In Tokyo, the Communist newspaper Red Flag accused city officials of luring prospective members from the party by offering them free baths.

October. In Memphis, Fred Smith explained to the court why his car had crashed into Noel Vaughan's house: he thought that somebody else was driving.

November. In London, Wally Farey, fined $4 for keeping a horse in his boardinghouse room, sadly explained: "I was lonely."

December. In Springfield, Mass., a woman complained that she could get nothing at all on her hearing aid but radio station WSFL next door.

This file is automatically generated by a robot program, so reader's discretion is required.